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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 128377" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>WMM -- I was afraid I would lose her by forcing her to become a tenant, but I knew we wouldn't keep on living the way we were and I couldn't think of any other alternative. If I let her doing the same old, I was angry and resentful. If I'd kicked her out, I would have felt guilty, let her come back and then back to same thing. So, thought I would try this route. There wasn't much to lose.</p><p> </p><p>She actually came around quicker than I thought she would. What was really nice was that it wasn't the money issue that turned her, it was missing the mother-daughter things.</p><p> </p><p>Yesterday, after lunch and errands, she asked if we could go to the square and just hang around. We walked through the shops. Listened to the music (she even let me bop to it without dying of embarassment), then went to have dinner. It was a great day/evening. When we got home, she went to her room and was putzing around there and her bathroom. She came out of the bathroom with her hair straightened and then asked me to check the bathroom to see what I thought. She'd deep cleaned it without a word from me!</p><p> </p><p>I know things won't be perfect but I do think gentle reminders of what needs to be done will work most of the time. We agreed that she could write her own weekly schedule and it could change according to her work schedule. She asked that I remind her before I go to bed each night what needs to be done that day -- she likes working at night which is fine. I also agreed that I wouldn't say a word about how long she sleeps so long as she does what is needed and she won't yell if I wake her up doing my stuff. </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, I'm so happy to have her back, it's almost sickening. I have a goofy grin on my face even though she just left for work.</p><p> </p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/jumphappy.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":jumphappy:" title="jump happy :jumphappy:" data-shortname=":jumphappy:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/beautifulthing.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":beautifulthing:" title="beautiful thing :beautifulthing:" data-shortname=":beautifulthing:" /></p><p> </p><p>And for those of you who were cheering me on in the background:<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 128377, member: 3626"] WMM -- I was afraid I would lose her by forcing her to become a tenant, but I knew we wouldn't keep on living the way we were and I couldn't think of any other alternative. If I let her doing the same old, I was angry and resentful. If I'd kicked her out, I would have felt guilty, let her come back and then back to same thing. So, thought I would try this route. There wasn't much to lose. She actually came around quicker than I thought she would. What was really nice was that it wasn't the money issue that turned her, it was missing the mother-daughter things. Yesterday, after lunch and errands, she asked if we could go to the square and just hang around. We walked through the shops. Listened to the music (she even let me bop to it without dying of embarassment), then went to have dinner. It was a great day/evening. When we got home, she went to her room and was putzing around there and her bathroom. She came out of the bathroom with her hair straightened and then asked me to check the bathroom to see what I thought. She'd deep cleaned it without a word from me! I know things won't be perfect but I do think gentle reminders of what needs to be done will work most of the time. We agreed that she could write her own weekly schedule and it could change according to her work schedule. She asked that I remind her before I go to bed each night what needs to be done that day -- she likes working at night which is fine. I also agreed that I wouldn't say a word about how long she sleeps so long as she does what is needed and she won't yell if I wake her up doing my stuff. Honestly, I'm so happy to have her back, it's almost sickening. I have a goofy grin on my face even though she just left for work. :jumphappy::beautifulthing: And for those of you who were cheering me on in the background::flowers::flowers: [/QUOTE]
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