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The Watercooler
I was on the upswing.......
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 485276" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hugs and two ears (well, eyes here) for you.</p><p></p><p>I would feel sad too if my mom wasn't up to communicating with me. It does sound like she is just not up to communicating though, not that she does not want to talk to you... I know it is a small difference, and when it is your mom, well for me at least, I want to make sure she knows she is safe it talking to me. And as hurtful as all this is with Matt, I have to say, congratulations. You have built him up and loved and supported him to a place where he has the strength to do this! yes he is the one doing it, and he should be congratulated, but YOUR instincts, your support, have given him the wings to fly. Just keep doing it, keep being that listener and allowing him to see that he can do this just as you always knew he could. This is all very powerful. </p><p></p><p>His being abused is awful. Never forget this..... YOU were a victim too. The abuser hurt both of you. You did not LET this happen of fail to protect. you were both victims of a crime.... now you will be survivors together. I directly told this to my mom and dad following a neighbor's violations of me from K-2nd grade. We were all victims and are all survivors. </p><p></p><p>I hope I didn't just make the same mistake as your therapist, I am not trying to tell you what to do.... just sharing what I see here and my experiences. I have gone into therapy sessions long ago...and now even say this to my sisters or friends.... I really need you to just listen today... I am not looking for advice. Can you do that for me? It sets the stage. Some people are just in that problem solving mode and it is not right for many people. Most people just need to process and have their feelings confirmed and upheld. Just MHO.</p><p></p><p>After years of anti depressants, I did finally go off years ago. I still had and have times of depression, but for me, I can tell when it is situational...I have hope and no sadness about other things...just the situation and that in itself can seem to overtake everything on some days, but not in the long haul so for me it has worked without. If that ever changed I would not hesitate to go back on them. But there is an overall healthier feeling off them for me, for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 485276, member: 12886"] Hugs and two ears (well, eyes here) for you. I would feel sad too if my mom wasn't up to communicating with me. It does sound like she is just not up to communicating though, not that she does not want to talk to you... I know it is a small difference, and when it is your mom, well for me at least, I want to make sure she knows she is safe it talking to me. And as hurtful as all this is with Matt, I have to say, congratulations. You have built him up and loved and supported him to a place where he has the strength to do this! yes he is the one doing it, and he should be congratulated, but YOUR instincts, your support, have given him the wings to fly. Just keep doing it, keep being that listener and allowing him to see that he can do this just as you always knew he could. This is all very powerful. His being abused is awful. Never forget this..... YOU were a victim too. The abuser hurt both of you. You did not LET this happen of fail to protect. you were both victims of a crime.... now you will be survivors together. I directly told this to my mom and dad following a neighbor's violations of me from K-2nd grade. We were all victims and are all survivors. I hope I didn't just make the same mistake as your therapist, I am not trying to tell you what to do.... just sharing what I see here and my experiences. I have gone into therapy sessions long ago...and now even say this to my sisters or friends.... I really need you to just listen today... I am not looking for advice. Can you do that for me? It sets the stage. Some people are just in that problem solving mode and it is not right for many people. Most people just need to process and have their feelings confirmed and upheld. Just MHO. After years of anti depressants, I did finally go off years ago. I still had and have times of depression, but for me, I can tell when it is situational...I have hope and no sadness about other things...just the situation and that in itself can seem to overtake everything on some days, but not in the long haul so for me it has worked without. If that ever changed I would not hesitate to go back on them. But there is an overall healthier feeling off them for me, for now. [/QUOTE]
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I was on the upswing.......
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