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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 526159" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetie, someone is going to end up HURT if this continues any longer. I totally understand your husband's position. It is hard for him to see his wife treated so horribly and then to have her get upset when he tries to stop the abuse of her. I think many men would react the way your husband did.</p><p></p><p>Right this very second you need to decide something. in my opinion it should be that ANY violence or property damage results in a call to the police for charges to be pressed. He simply isn't learning that he can't do this garbage from what you and husband can do at home. I don't think it is all due to the AS either. I think he probably believes there isn't a dang thing you can do to stop him. I would go to the police station and speak to someone there about what they will do if you call them. different areas handle things differently. But ANY violence should be the END of the good things/fun things for him. You may want the cops to take him to the ER or psychiatric hospital for emergency admit, though often they are calm and fine by the time they are seen at a hospital and they get sent home. You may want the cops to just talk to him, or you may choose to press charges. Or they may have otehr ideas. You could do a Child in Need of Services petition (CHINS petition) through the court which would mean he gets a probation officer who can do a lot of different things with him when he acts out.</p><p></p><p>The big problem with his behavior is that it is really at the point where someone is going to get HURT. This is likely going to result in someone getting criminal charges. Either difficult child will get them and you or husband or a sibling will be in bad shape or your husband will meet force wtih force and end up in legal trouble - and difficult child will NEVER let it go and iwll use it for the rest of your life to flogyou and try to make you do what he wants. I have been there done that with a 14yo and I had to have the cops remove him from our home for good. He ended up at my parents and did turn everything around wonderfully, but it took a loooooooong time. </p><p></p><p>I think you need to talk with a therapist and with the police in your area (with-O difficult child KNOWING!!), and that your husband insisting that one of them goes may actually not be a bad thing. It might keep everyone SAFE. Right now no one in the house is safe when difficult child rages.</p><p></p><p>Wish could be more help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 526159, member: 1233"] Sweetie, someone is going to end up HURT if this continues any longer. I totally understand your husband's position. It is hard for him to see his wife treated so horribly and then to have her get upset when he tries to stop the abuse of her. I think many men would react the way your husband did. Right this very second you need to decide something. in my opinion it should be that ANY violence or property damage results in a call to the police for charges to be pressed. He simply isn't learning that he can't do this garbage from what you and husband can do at home. I don't think it is all due to the AS either. I think he probably believes there isn't a dang thing you can do to stop him. I would go to the police station and speak to someone there about what they will do if you call them. different areas handle things differently. But ANY violence should be the END of the good things/fun things for him. You may want the cops to take him to the ER or psychiatric hospital for emergency admit, though often they are calm and fine by the time they are seen at a hospital and they get sent home. You may want the cops to just talk to him, or you may choose to press charges. Or they may have otehr ideas. You could do a Child in Need of Services petition (CHINS petition) through the court which would mean he gets a probation officer who can do a lot of different things with him when he acts out. The big problem with his behavior is that it is really at the point where someone is going to get HURT. This is likely going to result in someone getting criminal charges. Either difficult child will get them and you or husband or a sibling will be in bad shape or your husband will meet force wtih force and end up in legal trouble - and difficult child will NEVER let it go and iwll use it for the rest of your life to flogyou and try to make you do what he wants. I have been there done that with a 14yo and I had to have the cops remove him from our home for good. He ended up at my parents and did turn everything around wonderfully, but it took a loooooooong time. I think you need to talk with a therapist and with the police in your area (with-O difficult child KNOWING!!), and that your husband insisting that one of them goes may actually not be a bad thing. It might keep everyone SAFE. Right now no one in the house is safe when difficult child rages. Wish could be more help. [/QUOTE]
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