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I wish I knew what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 526185" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>family mum I'm not sure I'm much help other then to tell you I'm in your situation times 3/4! I have 3 difficult children (13, 14 almost 15, and a 20 yo) with a SO who is not bio to the kids who gets into it with the 13 and 14 yo at times. All 3 difficult children instigate the other and it can seem like WWIII in this house. It really can get down right bad and scary like you have. I have spoken with people around here as well as the support people who are handling my difficult children. Unfortunately I'm not having the best of luck as I'm not in a great area where they will do much of anything unless or until someone is actually <em>in the moment they are here</em> harming themselves or another! Gee great, not much help as the damage is usually done by then or will erupt again after.</p><p></p><p>After many years of experience I try to stay as calm as possible, intervene when I can, work with the ones I can at the moment to separate them as best as possible. If one of them is trying to instigate me (like you had happen) I do my best to ignore even when they will up the anty, and they surely do to the highest level. I am not perfect as I can be pushed as much as the next person when it's gone on far too long to often. My nerves get raw.</p><p></p><p>Here's hoping you can find some help/services and support for the difficult children. Maybe husband can find the help useful for himself too. Sometimes they do and start to understand and sometimes they don't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 526185, member: 455"] family mum I'm not sure I'm much help other then to tell you I'm in your situation times 3/4! I have 3 difficult children (13, 14 almost 15, and a 20 yo) with a SO who is not bio to the kids who gets into it with the 13 and 14 yo at times. All 3 difficult children instigate the other and it can seem like WWIII in this house. It really can get down right bad and scary like you have. I have spoken with people around here as well as the support people who are handling my difficult children. Unfortunately I'm not having the best of luck as I'm not in a great area where they will do much of anything unless or until someone is actually [I]in the moment they are here[/I] harming themselves or another! Gee great, not much help as the damage is usually done by then or will erupt again after. After many years of experience I try to stay as calm as possible, intervene when I can, work with the ones I can at the moment to separate them as best as possible. If one of them is trying to instigate me (like you had happen) I do my best to ignore even when they will up the anty, and they surely do to the highest level. I am not perfect as I can be pushed as much as the next person when it's gone on far too long to often. My nerves get raw. Here's hoping you can find some help/services and support for the difficult children. Maybe husband can find the help useful for himself too. Sometimes they do and start to understand and sometimes they don't. [/QUOTE]
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