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If I were more "normal" and not an incapable person, maybe it would had been differen
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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 524623" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>Buddy, yep, GP is still there even when everything is falling apart. I didn't had her, I think that I would had remained without any medical care. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I didn't think about this point, but so true. </p><p></p><p>About the law, it's hard but we are getting results. </p><p>The "only" problem is receiving scorn from a health care provider because you want and do anything to make a law change. The job itself is not the hardest part, but receiving only scornful and judgmental comments/advice from a psychiatrist has been and is still too hard. That's why I thought about giving up. </p><p>But I should think : "if they need to react like that, it should not be my problem but theirs. If they are jealous because they don't dare being in such a fight, it shouldn't be my problem but theirs". I should do exactly like you do when you detach yourself from your difficult child, but now, it's much more easier said than done. </p><p></p><p>The French association of narcoleptic patients and I are having results with this law change. So the job itself is not on the road to fail, but on the road to succeed. </p><p>And I cautiously think that in a certain way, psychiatrist was jealous because I managed without the French association for ADHD patients (I didn't feel them at all, and she absolutely wanted me to subscribe to this organization. She took my refusal as insulting her). Cautiously because we can never be sure at 100, but I suspect something like that. </p><p></p><p>I think that if psychiatrist needs a perfectly square world where everything has to be perfect or it means death and chaos, it should not be my problem, but hers. </p><p>If she thinks that because I don't fit her perfectly square world, I am lazy, pretending to suffer, pretending to work in order to suck mom's money, I should manage to react like "it's her problem, not mine. If she wants to be in trouble because she wants to lie about her health in her driving license form, it mustn't be my problem but hers". </p><p>Now, I set up my success, my going back to study, and if psychiatrist needs to see me failing to feel a successful psychiatrist, it mustn't be my problem but hers : I don't setup my success or my failure for her, but for me. </p><p>If psychiatrist wants my mom to be unhappy about seeing me to make a law change, it shouldn't prevent myself to share this success with mom. Because mom is happy that I found a reason to work, even if it's not "what everyone else does". Mom told me that there is no reason from preventing herself to be happy to see me succeeding with this fight and all what comes around (building my own professional network, as example). </p><p>The only problem is now, I really don't succeed to be as detached as that. I sometimes manage, but there are moments that it becomes like a storm on my face. </p><p></p><p>I needed your support to figure out all this s...t. </p><p>Even if it's only that, it's still something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 524623, member: 14306"] Buddy, yep, GP is still there even when everything is falling apart. I didn't had her, I think that I would had remained without any medical care. I didn't think about this point, but so true. About the law, it's hard but we are getting results. The "only" problem is receiving scorn from a health care provider because you want and do anything to make a law change. The job itself is not the hardest part, but receiving only scornful and judgmental comments/advice from a psychiatrist has been and is still too hard. That's why I thought about giving up. But I should think : "if they need to react like that, it should not be my problem but theirs. If they are jealous because they don't dare being in such a fight, it shouldn't be my problem but theirs". I should do exactly like you do when you detach yourself from your difficult child, but now, it's much more easier said than done. The French association of narcoleptic patients and I are having results with this law change. So the job itself is not on the road to fail, but on the road to succeed. And I cautiously think that in a certain way, psychiatrist was jealous because I managed without the French association for ADHD patients (I didn't feel them at all, and she absolutely wanted me to subscribe to this organization. She took my refusal as insulting her). Cautiously because we can never be sure at 100, but I suspect something like that. I think that if psychiatrist needs a perfectly square world where everything has to be perfect or it means death and chaos, it should not be my problem, but hers. If she thinks that because I don't fit her perfectly square world, I am lazy, pretending to suffer, pretending to work in order to suck mom's money, I should manage to react like "it's her problem, not mine. If she wants to be in trouble because she wants to lie about her health in her driving license form, it mustn't be my problem but hers". Now, I set up my success, my going back to study, and if psychiatrist needs to see me failing to feel a successful psychiatrist, it mustn't be my problem but hers : I don't setup my success or my failure for her, but for me. If psychiatrist wants my mom to be unhappy about seeing me to make a law change, it shouldn't prevent myself to share this success with mom. Because mom is happy that I found a reason to work, even if it's not "what everyone else does". Mom told me that there is no reason from preventing herself to be happy to see me succeeding with this fight and all what comes around (building my own professional network, as example). The only problem is now, I really don't succeed to be as detached as that. I sometimes manage, but there are moments that it becomes like a storm on my face. I needed your support to figure out all this s...t. Even if it's only that, it's still something. [/QUOTE]
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