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If its not one, its the other...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 382573" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Whether is was getting in the way of school grudge agenda or not, keeping them sweet is easy to do and pays off huge dividends. And they've already backed right off, so they understand now.</p><p></p><p>As someone who also would love at times the chance to rub certain education officials noses in their own mess, I have too often had to back off because, no matter how badly I wanted it, they had pulled another rabbit out of the hat and given us a direction to go which saved their noses. I have also been an unofficial advocate for other parents and I do get frustrated when they allow their child to suffer in a bad system, instead of taking the action they're entitled to. All for fear of what the school could do to their child, forgetting that if ANYBODY does anything to their child, it is serious grounds for a lot of heavy action. But as you pointed out, Farmwife, this is Shari's child, and when it's your child, you get to make the call. The advocates know this, too, but by now they also know you, Shari. When they left things, a letter had been drafted and it really looked like there was no more room to move other than to send the letter.</p><p>Then the super pulled a rabbit out of the hat (in the form of super-teacher). Of course you backed off. Sending that letter was no longer appropriate. It sounds like the advocates agree with this, now they know. And you did try to let them know, but hey, people have other things in their lives too. But it was so out of left field, they had trouble initially believing it. It's a lot easier to believe a timorous and gullible parent has once more been bought off by a corrupt schooling system.</p><p></p><p>If you had not called the super but merely sent the letter, you would probably now be where you were a week ago. Maybe not even that far. Think it through - knowing the people involved, as well as the procedures which should be followed, what would be the train of events? The principal could have just tossed the letter in the bin (foolish; but it would be possible). Or eventually she MAY have sent it on to the super. In between, you can be sure she would have found a way to once more trigger Wee, to make all this a non-issue because the kid is CLEARLY uncontrollable! You know how people like this work - master manipulators. And by the time the super knew about your letter, too much damage could have been done. That's one more reason for keeping Wee at home when that letter gets sent - to avoid the principal taking advantage of that little time window she has, and doing untold damage (like someone wielding a crowbar in a china shop - bulls are actually remarkably careful in china shops, according to Mythbusters).</p><p></p><p>So you did the right thing. Their distress over it was of course some level of disappointment that the letter got gazumped by circumstances. But they have quickly settled down to "What do we do next?"</p><p></p><p>Don't let it get to you, Shari. If you were in business and you were all fellow board members working towards, say, acquisition of another company, you would be going through the same conflicts and resolutions at every crisis. But the team has to pull together overall. Individual team members will at times disagree - otherwise how would you ever manage to take all variations and possibilities into account?</p><p>This is just how it happens. Roll with it, it's OK. But for me, part of rolling with it is to keep the others assured that I am still wanting them on the team and I am still supportive of their input. If you want them bound to you with ties of loyalty, that is what it takes. It's a sweetener. And it works a lot better than superB principal's bullying methods.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 382573, member: 1991"] Whether is was getting in the way of school grudge agenda or not, keeping them sweet is easy to do and pays off huge dividends. And they've already backed right off, so they understand now. As someone who also would love at times the chance to rub certain education officials noses in their own mess, I have too often had to back off because, no matter how badly I wanted it, they had pulled another rabbit out of the hat and given us a direction to go which saved their noses. I have also been an unofficial advocate for other parents and I do get frustrated when they allow their child to suffer in a bad system, instead of taking the action they're entitled to. All for fear of what the school could do to their child, forgetting that if ANYBODY does anything to their child, it is serious grounds for a lot of heavy action. But as you pointed out, Farmwife, this is Shari's child, and when it's your child, you get to make the call. The advocates know this, too, but by now they also know you, Shari. When they left things, a letter had been drafted and it really looked like there was no more room to move other than to send the letter. Then the super pulled a rabbit out of the hat (in the form of super-teacher). Of course you backed off. Sending that letter was no longer appropriate. It sounds like the advocates agree with this, now they know. And you did try to let them know, but hey, people have other things in their lives too. But it was so out of left field, they had trouble initially believing it. It's a lot easier to believe a timorous and gullible parent has once more been bought off by a corrupt schooling system. If you had not called the super but merely sent the letter, you would probably now be where you were a week ago. Maybe not even that far. Think it through - knowing the people involved, as well as the procedures which should be followed, what would be the train of events? The principal could have just tossed the letter in the bin (foolish; but it would be possible). Or eventually she MAY have sent it on to the super. In between, you can be sure she would have found a way to once more trigger Wee, to make all this a non-issue because the kid is CLEARLY uncontrollable! You know how people like this work - master manipulators. And by the time the super knew about your letter, too much damage could have been done. That's one more reason for keeping Wee at home when that letter gets sent - to avoid the principal taking advantage of that little time window she has, and doing untold damage (like someone wielding a crowbar in a china shop - bulls are actually remarkably careful in china shops, according to Mythbusters). So you did the right thing. Their distress over it was of course some level of disappointment that the letter got gazumped by circumstances. But they have quickly settled down to "What do we do next?" Don't let it get to you, Shari. If you were in business and you were all fellow board members working towards, say, acquisition of another company, you would be going through the same conflicts and resolutions at every crisis. But the team has to pull together overall. Individual team members will at times disagree - otherwise how would you ever manage to take all variations and possibilities into account? This is just how it happens. Roll with it, it's OK. But for me, part of rolling with it is to keep the others assured that I am still wanting them on the team and I am still supportive of their input. If you want them bound to you with ties of loyalty, that is what it takes. It's a sweetener. And it works a lot better than superB principal's bullying methods. Marg [/QUOTE]
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