If only I !

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tellmewhy, Mar 5, 2018.

  1. Tellmewhy

    Tellmewhy New Member

    My daughter is my everything but unfortunately I cannot help her and bailed her out anymore me and my husband been together for 14 years and he raised my daughter since she was six now 34 and homeless makes me sick to my stomach my heart aches and my head hurts from thinking of her everyday she has three children and they all went to different grandparents I have the seven-year-old beautiful little baby girl she gives us life me and my husband are raising her yesterday I found out that my daughter is living under a bridge next to the house that I grew up at my mother sold her home 6 months ago my daughter live there with my 3 grandkids one of them is a cancer survivor she's 13 and thank God she's living with well-to-do grandparents anyways before my mother sold the house everything was perfect my mom love my daughter so much and my sister's all put her up on a pedestal then she met a foolish man and she totally changed .My mom found him in the bedroom bathroom and was so scared she kicked him out my daughter was trying to help him cuz he's homeless and it was so wrong because my 3 grandkids were sleeping in the bedroom since then she would treat her very mean and kick her out of the house so many times she would call me for any little movement my daughter made even if she walk to the store to the market to the park but she is also a very good liar and sometimes made it never made it back home two three hours later with the kids still at home with my mother it comes to my reality that she chose him and drugs over everything else my mom could not take it anymore and my sisters all got involved and somehow she was convinced to sell the house that I grew up in it's been 6 months since the house was sold and my daughter was kicked out with the three grandchildren all placed with their grandmothers I had some I'll convince them to take the children so they would not be homeless and the court ordered me Guardian of my 7 year old baby I always.. thought thought my daughter okay we all make mistakes she had a tough time with my 13 year old cancer survivor she got leukemia at Age 3 and is my little Survivor nevertheless I realize that she is really homeless those people you see on the streets the ladies pushing shopping carts same clothes no shower no food no more blanket with not a care in the world she was one of them and I know and tell myself this is not the way it's supposed to be reality kicked in and it is tearing my heart apart she is a drug addict with congestive heart failure the day she was discharged from the hospital I could not even bring it to my apartment my husband won't without it she had separated us at one point when I moved her into the apartment when she had her second baby my parents came running for her and my sister they always came to rescue I made me look like a bad mother here we today and I'm going to go find her and try to help her take a shower and give her something to eat she can't stay here he won't allow it I don't know what to do I feel so helpless and awful my sister's think I should leave my husband and have her live with me but who will pay my rent she already separated me and my husband at one point I don't care though I still want to help her so badly she was made out to be and characterized as a bad person and she has never been a bad person she is not but she became someone she's not supposed to be my family was so United and loving and now she's in the street and they are nowhere inside to help me they think it's okay to have my daughter homeless and three children separated my mother regret selling the house and one of my sisters is contacting me constantly and wants to help me find my daughter today
     
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    I am sorry for your troubles. There is an article on detachment here that might help you. I am not sure i understand the sisters, didn't they talk your mother into selling her house which made your daughter homeless? If so why can't they understand why your daughter can't come to your house for the same reason. If your daughter is an addict she is the only one who can decide to stop. You can only give her information like where shelters are where food banks are , possible rehabs. She can choose to take advantage of them or not. None of this is easy and many on this sight have been through this. They will reply later i am sure. It is good that her children are safe. Even if you left your husband that would not change the fact that your daughter is an addict nor will it change her behavior. Also since you have her daughter would the court allow you to have her in your home. You are a caring mother and love your daughter and your grandchildren but you can not fix this by destroying your own life. I hope you are able to find peace.
     
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