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"If you don't care, why should I?" Is this TOO tough?
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<blockquote data-quote="feelinghelplesss" data-source="post: 447869" data-attributes="member: 12246"><p>Thanks Star, I'm speechless. I do understand the enabling of a mother in law, I saw it in my ex mother in law with my X. Not drug related, but she paid for everything ... even buying him a very nice house and country club membership. He's on his second divorce (married the woman who he cheated on me with), but now he's living with a woman and her three young kids. Divorce isn't even final. Never growing up, never really happy. And worst of all, never truly a father to our 3 children, one of whom is my son who is struggling. My son has a lot of resentment towards his dad. So I understand the awful results of enabling.</p><p></p><p>My son does express a strong desire to return to school and succeed. He also wants to find a part-time job while at school He's registered for classes in the fall and scheduled to re-take a class that he got a "D" in because of bad attendance. His own goal is to get an A in that class. Of course I want him to go back to school, but I've made it clear that it's his choice...not mine. At this point, we've laid down several expectations (that he's agreed to) and if they aren't me, there are consequences. Such as-- no school paid for, no expenses paid for, you're on your own. I feel that we need to give him this one last chance to prove himself...to HIMSELF as much as to us. </p><p></p><p>My definition of a happy ending here is when a kid who is addicted to drugs and is self destructive (and is destroying the family) stops the insanity and starts taking care of themselves. Is able to be happy without the drugs and lead a productive life...whether that means going to school or getting a job. Anything that gives them a sense of self worth. </p><p></p><p>I sounds like your son is moving in a positive direction. I have said a prayer for him. Thanks again, Star.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="feelinghelplesss, post: 447869, member: 12246"] Thanks Star, I'm speechless. I do understand the enabling of a mother in law, I saw it in my ex mother in law with my X. Not drug related, but she paid for everything ... even buying him a very nice house and country club membership. He's on his second divorce (married the woman who he cheated on me with), but now he's living with a woman and her three young kids. Divorce isn't even final. Never growing up, never really happy. And worst of all, never truly a father to our 3 children, one of whom is my son who is struggling. My son has a lot of resentment towards his dad. So I understand the awful results of enabling. My son does express a strong desire to return to school and succeed. He also wants to find a part-time job while at school He's registered for classes in the fall and scheduled to re-take a class that he got a "D" in because of bad attendance. His own goal is to get an A in that class. Of course I want him to go back to school, but I've made it clear that it's his choice...not mine. At this point, we've laid down several expectations (that he's agreed to) and if they aren't me, there are consequences. Such as-- no school paid for, no expenses paid for, you're on your own. I feel that we need to give him this one last chance to prove himself...to HIMSELF as much as to us. My definition of a happy ending here is when a kid who is addicted to drugs and is self destructive (and is destroying the family) stops the insanity and starts taking care of themselves. Is able to be happy without the drugs and lead a productive life...whether that means going to school or getting a job. Anything that gives them a sense of self worth. I sounds like your son is moving in a positive direction. I have said a prayer for him. Thanks again, Star. [/QUOTE]
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"If you don't care, why should I?" Is this TOO tough?
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