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If You Love Something, Set It Free
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 690765" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>I agree with Albatross - what up with that church? I get that they didn't do it or know what he was going to do, but as "mediators," you would think that part of what they would do is try to diffuse the anger, set aside arguments, and "mediate" a peaceful reconciliation. If that was not possible, then not allow him to use that as a public whipping post and end the "mediation." JMO</p><p></p><p>I totally get the whole FB thing. My husband has a child that does the same to him. I have mentioned this child but not here on PE. Totally alienated from my husband from early childhood by her mother, she "allows" my husband on her FB so he can see pics of a grandchild he is rarely and barely allowed to know. He may message her ten times and get one short, abrupt answer. She only wants to see him on "her" terms and when it is convenient for her. I hate it but he continues to hang onto the thread of hope that she will see the manipulation that was done to her. I doubt it. Her mother has committed a very serious crime that she had been hiding for years and will likely go to prison for it. She stays blindly, defensively, and firmly by her side. In my mind, if that doesn't release her from her mother's control and let her see her for what she is, then they are too enmeshed for her to ever have a normal, healthy relationship with her dad. If it were me, I would do as you did SWOT and just unfriend her. It would be too painful to see pictures and hear snippets of a life I was not allowed to fully be part of or welcomed into.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 690765, member: 19905"] I agree with Albatross - what up with that church? I get that they didn't do it or know what he was going to do, but as "mediators," you would think that part of what they would do is try to diffuse the anger, set aside arguments, and "mediate" a peaceful reconciliation. If that was not possible, then not allow him to use that as a public whipping post and end the "mediation." JMO I totally get the whole FB thing. My husband has a child that does the same to him. I have mentioned this child but not here on PE. Totally alienated from my husband from early childhood by her mother, she "allows" my husband on her FB so he can see pics of a grandchild he is rarely and barely allowed to know. He may message her ten times and get one short, abrupt answer. She only wants to see him on "her" terms and when it is convenient for her. I hate it but he continues to hang onto the thread of hope that she will see the manipulation that was done to her. I doubt it. Her mother has committed a very serious crime that she had been hiding for years and will likely go to prison for it. She stays blindly, defensively, and firmly by her side. In my mind, if that doesn't release her from her mother's control and let her see her for what she is, then they are too enmeshed for her to ever have a normal, healthy relationship with her dad. If it were me, I would do as you did SWOT and just unfriend her. It would be too painful to see pictures and hear snippets of a life I was not allowed to fully be part of or welcomed into. [/QUOTE]
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