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I'm 14 mom I can do what I want!
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 52967" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>I hope you take this as supportive and as agreeing that you are the parent and you are in charge... I agree with-Meowbunny... I have changed my tactics--and they are "tactics" <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />-- in the past several months, because we all know that our G'sfg overreact to us and to general situations, so we have to adjust our actions.</p><p>I would have still stopped and spoken to him, but it would have been privately (sometimes my kids' friends will try to stick by their sides and I have to try to stay calm and ask them to please step away for a moment so I can talk alone with-my kid). Then I would have told difficult child that he was supposed to be "inside" the dance, not on the street outside (again, I don't know what the rules are, but the implication is that if he's outside, even on the sidewalk, it's only a matter of time b4 he's down the street, then at someone else's house, etc.)</p><p>You've got to expect that he's going to hurt you verbally. That's why he's a difficult child and not a easy child. But to understand it intellectually doesn't make it hurt any less. Believe me, I've been there!!!!! If you can find a calm time today or tomorrow, sit down with-difficult child and talk about how his words hurt you, and of course, he's going to say it's your fault. Stick to your guns and very guietly say that he's got to be able to control himself and that regardless whose fault it was, his words still hurt you. Period. Then talk about why he was not inside the dance and what he could have done differently. Try to keep the focus on HIS responsibilites with-o getting into a heated discussion.</p><p>Sometimes I almost have to whisper and close my eyes just to keep my voice well modulated, because I know that the least little thing will set off my difficult child.</p><p>Good luck!!! {{Cyberhugs}} :crazy:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 52967, member: 3419"] I hope you take this as supportive and as agreeing that you are the parent and you are in charge... I agree with-Meowbunny... I have changed my tactics--and they are "tactics" ;)-- in the past several months, because we all know that our G'sfg overreact to us and to general situations, so we have to adjust our actions. I would have still stopped and spoken to him, but it would have been privately (sometimes my kids' friends will try to stick by their sides and I have to try to stay calm and ask them to please step away for a moment so I can talk alone with-my kid). Then I would have told difficult child that he was supposed to be "inside" the dance, not on the street outside (again, I don't know what the rules are, but the implication is that if he's outside, even on the sidewalk, it's only a matter of time b4 he's down the street, then at someone else's house, etc.) You've got to expect that he's going to hurt you verbally. That's why he's a difficult child and not a easy child. But to understand it intellectually doesn't make it hurt any less. Believe me, I've been there!!!!! If you can find a calm time today or tomorrow, sit down with-difficult child and talk about how his words hurt you, and of course, he's going to say it's your fault. Stick to your guns and very guietly say that he's got to be able to control himself and that regardless whose fault it was, his words still hurt you. Period. Then talk about why he was not inside the dance and what he could have done differently. Try to keep the focus on HIS responsibilites with-o getting into a heated discussion. Sometimes I almost have to whisper and close my eyes just to keep my voice well modulated, because I know that the least little thing will set off my difficult child. Good luck!!! {{Cyberhugs}} [img]:crazy:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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