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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 705600" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>You poor thing! </p><p></p><p>We were on the roller coaster ourselves for five years. Our son would not use for long periods of time and our home was calm BUT he would not work or go to college. When he did he would begin using and the process would all start over. It had to end. His actions were ruling our life. He was in charge.</p><p></p><p>My husband wanted him out and I was too afraid. He was never violent or said mean things to us. That would have made it all happen sooner. But he did steal etc. from us, lie.</p><p></p><p>I would see a therapist together with a plan on how to rectify the situation. We saw an addiction specialist together. We were desperate for a change. He told us to tell our son rehab or you're out. He had been to rehab many times before with no success so I felt that was not an option but we did it. He chose rehab (he literally had no friends) and after that we shipped him down to Florida for sober living and follow up. Figured if he ended up homeless due to his actions, he would not freeze. Yes that's the real reason.</p><p></p><p>He has been gone since March and we are so happy and God I wish we had done it sooner. Is he doing great? No. He's doing better than he did here though. As you can see by my signature it's all been a struggle but he is now working 30 hours per week and just signed up today for one college class starting on Monday. He feels like we sent him off to "fend for himself". Yes we did and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I told him that someday he will thank us. He's still very immature and a total pain in the ass but our lives are calm. He has to figure this out. Sink or swim.</p><p></p><p>I have hated my son before so don't feel guilty about that. I don't. You are a wonderful mother or you would not be here. I think we feel hate to protect ourselves. It isn't real. It's from all the years of the suffering they inflict on us. It's normal.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. There is a wealth of knowledge here. We have been through it.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 705600, member: 15032"] You poor thing! We were on the roller coaster ourselves for five years. Our son would not use for long periods of time and our home was calm BUT he would not work or go to college. When he did he would begin using and the process would all start over. It had to end. His actions were ruling our life. He was in charge. My husband wanted him out and I was too afraid. He was never violent or said mean things to us. That would have made it all happen sooner. But he did steal etc. from us, lie. I would see a therapist together with a plan on how to rectify the situation. We saw an addiction specialist together. We were desperate for a change. He told us to tell our son rehab or you're out. He had been to rehab many times before with no success so I felt that was not an option but we did it. He chose rehab (he literally had no friends) and after that we shipped him down to Florida for sober living and follow up. Figured if he ended up homeless due to his actions, he would not freeze. Yes that's the real reason. He has been gone since March and we are so happy and God I wish we had done it sooner. Is he doing great? No. He's doing better than he did here though. As you can see by my signature it's all been a struggle but he is now working 30 hours per week and just signed up today for one college class starting on Monday. He feels like we sent him off to "fend for himself". Yes we did and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I told him that someday he will thank us. He's still very immature and a total pain in the ass but our lives are calm. He has to figure this out. Sink or swim. I have hated my son before so don't feel guilty about that. I don't. You are a wonderful mother or you would not be here. I think we feel hate to protect ourselves. It isn't real. It's from all the years of the suffering they inflict on us. It's normal. Keep posting. There is a wealth of knowledge here. We have been through it. :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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