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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 706153" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Hi Lucy- I see that you have taken steps to getting counseling and hubby has a plan with 30 day notice if further incidences.</p><p></p><p>Totally agree with Susie in regards to having drugs in your home. He could get angry and say they are yours. YOU could lose everything, your home, cars due to your son. YOU see pot laying on the table next time, I would throw it out. Like you said, probably so stoned he forgot it was there. </p><p></p><p>I had a friend who had a teenage son and when they found pot in in his room, they totally cleaned out his room. He had a sleeping blanket only in the room. They even took off the doors. They made him do random home drug tests. He had to earn his things back. It worked for them. YOU may have to make it so miserable for him to live there that he leaves voluntarily. I know there is fear he will harm you- and maybe fearful to do as my friend did. I understand. But if and when he goes off on you both, record it and call the police. YOUR home should be your sanctuary. There are no boundaries with him, he knows this. Yes he has power now- but you and hubby can work toward regaining your power over your lives and your home. </p><p></p><p>I would look into the laws of your state regarding temporary restraining orders and eviction process. Knowledge ahead of time is power.</p><p>Our neighbor had to evict their daughter with combined TRO last year. </p><p></p><p>Keeps us posted. Many of us have been down various roads with our D 's. Some have walked totally away for their own sanity and safety. Some are still trying to help their Difficult Child'S find their way in hopes that this time it will work. Some Difficult Child's have been successful and changed their lives. Tragically, some have not ended well for their Difficult Child's. YOU have to find what works for you and what YOU can live with. </p><p></p><p>Nothing changes until it changes. Keep posting with updates. But your safety should be first above everything else.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 706153, member: 19951"] Hi Lucy- I see that you have taken steps to getting counseling and hubby has a plan with 30 day notice if further incidences. Totally agree with Susie in regards to having drugs in your home. He could get angry and say they are yours. YOU could lose everything, your home, cars due to your son. YOU see pot laying on the table next time, I would throw it out. Like you said, probably so stoned he forgot it was there. I had a friend who had a teenage son and when they found pot in in his room, they totally cleaned out his room. He had a sleeping blanket only in the room. They even took off the doors. They made him do random home drug tests. He had to earn his things back. It worked for them. YOU may have to make it so miserable for him to live there that he leaves voluntarily. I know there is fear he will harm you- and maybe fearful to do as my friend did. I understand. But if and when he goes off on you both, record it and call the police. YOUR home should be your sanctuary. There are no boundaries with him, he knows this. Yes he has power now- but you and hubby can work toward regaining your power over your lives and your home. I would look into the laws of your state regarding temporary restraining orders and eviction process. Knowledge ahead of time is power. Our neighbor had to evict their daughter with combined TRO last year. Keeps us posted. Many of us have been down various roads with our D 's. Some have walked totally away for their own sanity and safety. Some are still trying to help their Difficult Child'S find their way in hopes that this time it will work. Some Difficult Child's have been successful and changed their lives. Tragically, some have not ended well for their Difficult Child's. YOU have to find what works for you and what YOU can live with. Nothing changes until it changes. Keep posting with updates. But your safety should be first above everything else. [/QUOTE]
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