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Im about a mile from entering crazytown
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 313753" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi T -</p><p> </p><p>First off - I think while your H is home - YOU and HIM need a honeymoon without the kid for a week. So mother in law being so helpful with all the answers here can come get difficult child and you and H can do your thing. You both need that before he deploys. </p><p> </p><p>If THAT were to happen? I think Grace is correct also and I know that the biggest fear about difficult child going back to school is that it could potentially be more hassle for you in the long run - but what it it isn't. Here's my thought. You and a difficult child cooped up together in a house 24/7 - yeah wanna know why both of you are about a mile of entering crazytown? or FunnyFarm town? 24/7 Baaabay. You both need a break from EACH OTHER. He's not getting any socialization that he could be getting and you're not getting any down time. </p><p> </p><p>I think you could get him an IEP, self-contained classes, a mentor/shadow to get to know him paid for by the school district to help get him distracted or take him out of the class if he got too disruptive...and even start off on 1/2 days if that was the case - OR get the district to pay for a TEACHER to come to YOUR house 1/2 a day also to help him with other things. As far as asking him what HE wants? YEeeeeeahhhh.no. </p><p> </p><p>I would give him choices. Dude did the - I'll tell you what you want to hear so you shut up and leave me alone thing and we always felt like idiots 2 sessions later. So we finally would pick things that were ridiculous choices and say "Okay - since you just pick **** to shut us up = here's your choices pick one. You can go to ballet, go to tap class or go to baton twirling." PICK ONE..only one. Believe me - he'd come up with one thing HE really wanted to do. That would become that weeks goal or prize. Short term stuff. </p><p> </p><p>As far as not telling husband about the stuff that goes on at home? Well - I think I agree with mother in law on this one - BUT (oh dont get mad at me) I said BUTTTTT.....butt so do you. Yes he chose the military - but who knew he'd be going to a war zone? I know you think you're in a war zone every day. So....since there are things YOU can do to eliminate SOME of the things in your strike zone - why not try them? I mean - send difficult child to school and if it doesn't work out ? What did you loose? What if it DOES work out? What did you gain (maybe a non-trip to zooland?) I mean I'll be out a craft-class wallet or some nice slippers made out of Maxi pads - (you were going to make me something right?) but if he does get set up in school - you get some alone time? You could read - attend parenting classes....find a class on effective communication - learn how to talk to a difficult child? (it's sooooo good) it's like a foreign language and you'll think you've learned how to speak Chinese and found the hidden language of the difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>There's lots of things you could do with your time. (send me something pretty) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Take a class at a local college....I mean tons of stuff. </p><p> </p><p>And the more distance you put between you and difficult child - the better it's going to make the Tina household.....and that will make husband happier - happy wife? Happy life....right? </p><p> </p><p>And Wend is right - medications tweek is definitely in order. So start there....and when the medications are stable - talk to the school and see what they have to offer. Don't use it as a threat either with difficult child. Just do it. </p><p> </p><p>I bet he'll like it. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p><p>(nooo I didn't EXACTLY say mother in law was rrrrrrright I said I sorta agree with her will you STOP already? ish) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 313753, member: 4964"] Hi T - First off - I think while your H is home - YOU and HIM need a honeymoon without the kid for a week. So mother in law being so helpful with all the answers here can come get difficult child and you and H can do your thing. You both need that before he deploys. If THAT were to happen? I think Grace is correct also and I know that the biggest fear about difficult child going back to school is that it could potentially be more hassle for you in the long run - but what it it isn't. Here's my thought. You and a difficult child cooped up together in a house 24/7 - yeah wanna know why both of you are about a mile of entering crazytown? or FunnyFarm town? 24/7 Baaabay. You both need a break from EACH OTHER. He's not getting any socialization that he could be getting and you're not getting any down time. I think you could get him an IEP, self-contained classes, a mentor/shadow to get to know him paid for by the school district to help get him distracted or take him out of the class if he got too disruptive...and even start off on 1/2 days if that was the case - OR get the district to pay for a TEACHER to come to YOUR house 1/2 a day also to help him with other things. As far as asking him what HE wants? YEeeeeeahhhh.no. I would give him choices. Dude did the - I'll tell you what you want to hear so you shut up and leave me alone thing and we always felt like idiots 2 sessions later. So we finally would pick things that were ridiculous choices and say "Okay - since you just pick **** to shut us up = here's your choices pick one. You can go to ballet, go to tap class or go to baton twirling." PICK ONE..only one. Believe me - he'd come up with one thing HE really wanted to do. That would become that weeks goal or prize. Short term stuff. As far as not telling husband about the stuff that goes on at home? Well - I think I agree with mother in law on this one - BUT (oh dont get mad at me) I said BUTTTTT.....butt so do you. Yes he chose the military - but who knew he'd be going to a war zone? I know you think you're in a war zone every day. So....since there are things YOU can do to eliminate SOME of the things in your strike zone - why not try them? I mean - send difficult child to school and if it doesn't work out ? What did you loose? What if it DOES work out? What did you gain (maybe a non-trip to zooland?) I mean I'll be out a craft-class wallet or some nice slippers made out of Maxi pads - (you were going to make me something right?) but if he does get set up in school - you get some alone time? You could read - attend parenting classes....find a class on effective communication - learn how to talk to a difficult child? (it's sooooo good) it's like a foreign language and you'll think you've learned how to speak Chinese and found the hidden language of the difficult child. There's lots of things you could do with your time. (send me something pretty) :winking: Take a class at a local college....I mean tons of stuff. And the more distance you put between you and difficult child - the better it's going to make the Tina household.....and that will make husband happier - happy wife? Happy life....right? And Wend is right - medications tweek is definitely in order. So start there....and when the medications are stable - talk to the school and see what they have to offer. Don't use it as a threat either with difficult child. Just do it. I bet he'll like it. Hugs Star (nooo I didn't EXACTLY say mother in law was rrrrrrright I said I sorta agree with her will you STOP already? ish) :winking: [/QUOTE]
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