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I'm back and its not a pretty story . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 448311" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Kathy I have come back to your post in the middle of the night because I simply couldnt sleep. It was bothering me. </p><p></p><p>I keep going back thinking to everything you have done for your daughter over the years to help her and how she has thrown that help right back in your faces. </p><p></p><p>I think Nancy is coming to you with advice to give your daughter a second chance because her daughter just completed a sober living program and seems to be doing well at the moment. She is very hopeful. I think she has kind heart right now.</p><p></p><p>Im not so sure that is what you need to hear. Its what I wanted to tell you too at the beginning when I first posted. I really didnt want to tell you to do what I did but the more I tried to fall asleep tonight the more I thought about all the things your difficult child has done to you and herself. There have been some really bad times. Times you could have or maybe should have had her arrested in the past. Thats what I always wondered to myself...if I had pressed charges sooner, would I have stopped the ride sooner. Who knows. </p><p></p><p>I think its time to bring her bottom up. She has stolen from the very people who gave her life, a home, food in her belly and trusted her to be trustworthy in their home while you were gone for a week. That is unforgivable. It doesnt mean you dont love her, it means you love her enough to make her stop this spiral. To stop her from doing this to people who wont think twice about sending her to jail. If you press the charges at least you will have some say so in the whole process. I was able to agree to have Cory come home on house arrest, I was fine with him getting probation in lieu of an active sentence...well he did have to do 30 days active but that was better than the whole 18 months. </p><p></p><p>After thinking about it, I dont think she is going to learn a darned thing unless you charge her for the check...now, the question for you is do you charge her for just the forgery or for the uttering. Both are felonies. You can do one, both or either of them. Sometimes this will make a difference if you know that she wrote the check or checks in your home and that is in the county but cashed them in a bank or store that is actually in the city. So each would be handled by a different police dept. </p><p></p><p>Cory wrote the checks in my house which is in the county and handled by the country sheriffs dept. Ugh.</p><p></p><p>The checks were cashed at the banks in my city which is handled by the city police dept. They handled the uttering charges which are the actual cashing of a forged check which is a felony. So when a person forges a check and then cashes it themselves...that is two separate felony charges. I chose not to charge him with the forgery charges because I just felt it was overkill. </p><p></p><p>In your case, if your dtr only did forge the one check, I think I would just charge her with one charge...be it forgery or uttering. I chose uttering because most folks dont know what the heck it means.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 448311, member: 1514"] Kathy I have come back to your post in the middle of the night because I simply couldnt sleep. It was bothering me. I keep going back thinking to everything you have done for your daughter over the years to help her and how she has thrown that help right back in your faces. I think Nancy is coming to you with advice to give your daughter a second chance because her daughter just completed a sober living program and seems to be doing well at the moment. She is very hopeful. I think she has kind heart right now. Im not so sure that is what you need to hear. Its what I wanted to tell you too at the beginning when I first posted. I really didnt want to tell you to do what I did but the more I tried to fall asleep tonight the more I thought about all the things your difficult child has done to you and herself. There have been some really bad times. Times you could have or maybe should have had her arrested in the past. Thats what I always wondered to myself...if I had pressed charges sooner, would I have stopped the ride sooner. Who knows. I think its time to bring her bottom up. She has stolen from the very people who gave her life, a home, food in her belly and trusted her to be trustworthy in their home while you were gone for a week. That is unforgivable. It doesnt mean you dont love her, it means you love her enough to make her stop this spiral. To stop her from doing this to people who wont think twice about sending her to jail. If you press the charges at least you will have some say so in the whole process. I was able to agree to have Cory come home on house arrest, I was fine with him getting probation in lieu of an active sentence...well he did have to do 30 days active but that was better than the whole 18 months. After thinking about it, I dont think she is going to learn a darned thing unless you charge her for the check...now, the question for you is do you charge her for just the forgery or for the uttering. Both are felonies. You can do one, both or either of them. Sometimes this will make a difference if you know that she wrote the check or checks in your home and that is in the county but cashed them in a bank or store that is actually in the city. So each would be handled by a different police dept. Cory wrote the checks in my house which is in the county and handled by the country sheriffs dept. Ugh. The checks were cashed at the banks in my city which is handled by the city police dept. They handled the uttering charges which are the actual cashing of a forged check which is a felony. So when a person forges a check and then cashes it themselves...that is two separate felony charges. I chose not to charge him with the forgery charges because I just felt it was overkill. In your case, if your dtr only did forge the one check, I think I would just charge her with one charge...be it forgery or uttering. I chose uttering because most folks dont know what the heck it means. [/QUOTE]
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