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I'm back and its not a pretty story . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 449054" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Hi Kathy, she does seem to have a substance abuse issue which magnifies her underlying personality disorder or mental illness. Not being able to trust her has to be heartbreaking. Her thinking and sense of entitlement are not based on reality and you <em>should</em> be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor without worry that she is destroying the house or stealing things. </p><p>She doesn't seem up to the task of independent living. Can she stay with you with very strict rules? Car only for work or with a parent. It will curtail her ability to buy alcohol or party. </p><p>You might want to invest in a nanny cam so that you have a record of what's going on. On the other hand it may be too gut wrenching to see her going through your cupboards and drawers to steal from her parents. </p><p>I'm sorry she hasn't figured it out. </p><p>At some point, you will have to figure out if she will ever be independent or if she is only able to live this pinball machine type of existence. She doesn't seem to be able to set a realistic goal and set steps in motion to attain that goal. She has good intentions but "a dream without a plan and hard work is a fantasy". I don't think she is lazy but she loses site of the prize by getting enveloped with just everyday life, party, drink, etc. </p><p>Her thinking is not clear in relationship to family and work. </p><p>Hugs. </p><p>How is easy child doing?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 449054, member: 3"] Hi Kathy, she does seem to have a substance abuse issue which magnifies her underlying personality disorder or mental illness. Not being able to trust her has to be heartbreaking. Her thinking and sense of entitlement are not based on reality and you [I]should[/I] be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor without worry that she is destroying the house or stealing things. She doesn't seem up to the task of independent living. Can she stay with you with very strict rules? Car only for work or with a parent. It will curtail her ability to buy alcohol or party. You might want to invest in a nanny cam so that you have a record of what's going on. On the other hand it may be too gut wrenching to see her going through your cupboards and drawers to steal from her parents. I'm sorry she hasn't figured it out. At some point, you will have to figure out if she will ever be independent or if she is only able to live this pinball machine type of existence. She doesn't seem to be able to set a realistic goal and set steps in motion to attain that goal. She has good intentions but "a dream without a plan and hard work is a fantasy". I don't think she is lazy but she loses site of the prize by getting enveloped with just everyday life, party, drink, etc. Her thinking is not clear in relationship to family and work. Hugs. How is easy child doing? [/QUOTE]
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