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I'm done searching for N's birthparents. Wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 240892" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>MWM, My easy child 2 was about your daughter's age when he started obsessing over his birth parents. His was a closed adoption unlike your daughter's open adoption but maybe my experience will help you anyway. easy child 2 kept asking me and fantacising over what his life would be like if they hadn't given him up. He is disabled and those middle school years were very hard on him. He was very small and the kids picked on him. He was in a pull out program and so he was always having to leave the classroom for his Special Education instruction which put more focus on him. He was not athletic and that is what boys that age areall about, He just didn't feel like he fit in and I think he thought that it was because he was adopted. </p><p></p><p>After much hounding from him, I finaly told him that it was a closed adoption and that I did have some information that might help him find his birth parents but that by law I was not allowed to give it to him until his 18th birthday. I then told him that he looked alot like his birth father. He said "really?" and got a very thoughtful face but said nothing more. Interestingly that bit of information seemed to be enough.</p><p></p><p> On his 18th birthday I asked him if he wanted the information on his birth parents and he said: " NO, you are my mom and Dad is my dad and I have a family that loves me. That is all I need." I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. I then told him that if he changed his mind that I would tell him what I know. After the conversation I went to my room and I cried. So many mixed up emotions flooded into my mind. </p><p></p><p>Let it rest for a while and tell your daughter that she can look when she is of age and that you will point her in the initial direction. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 240892, member: 2315"] MWM, My easy child 2 was about your daughter's age when he started obsessing over his birth parents. His was a closed adoption unlike your daughter's open adoption but maybe my experience will help you anyway. easy child 2 kept asking me and fantacising over what his life would be like if they hadn't given him up. He is disabled and those middle school years were very hard on him. He was very small and the kids picked on him. He was in a pull out program and so he was always having to leave the classroom for his Special Education instruction which put more focus on him. He was not athletic and that is what boys that age areall about, He just didn't feel like he fit in and I think he thought that it was because he was adopted. After much hounding from him, I finaly told him that it was a closed adoption and that I did have some information that might help him find his birth parents but that by law I was not allowed to give it to him until his 18th birthday. I then told him that he looked alot like his birth father. He said "really?" and got a very thoughtful face but said nothing more. Interestingly that bit of information seemed to be enough. On his 18th birthday I asked him if he wanted the information on his birth parents and he said: " NO, you are my mom and Dad is my dad and I have a family that loves me. That is all I need." I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. I then told him that if he changed his mind that I would tell him what I know. After the conversation I went to my room and I cried. So many mixed up emotions flooded into my mind. Let it rest for a while and tell your daughter that she can look when she is of age and that you will point her in the initial direction. -RM [/QUOTE]
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I'm done searching for N's birthparents. Wow.
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