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I'm done searching for N's birthparents. Wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 241077" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>There is plenty of time to have some type of moment later. Just drop the subject and be there for your daughter to talk about her thoughts and feelings. She may continue to insist that she wants to meet them, or whatever, and mostly she is just needing to talk about them in some context. If you can help her to express her thinking to you about the topic of having bioparents without you doing anything about it. As a parent it is hard to converse about something when our inclination and an enormous amount of our time is about giving and service to our children. Even when they are doing the work and being co-operative or otherwords we tend to be serving their process of learning.</p><p>Some of the most reveling conversations I have had with my son were around things and people he cares about and I couldn't make that happen. It was something that we have done around both those things all his life.Find a way to have that conversation without the goal to do the meeting being the focus. What does it feel like to her that she has those relations that she has not met or seen for so long. What does she imagin will happen?</p><p>One such conversation I learned what my son thought would happen and it was this sweet reflection of his vision of care where he really thought that others in his family would consider his hearts desires like I do. When the reason we never do see them is because the reality is nothing NOTHING like he would wish.</p><p>For me it is easy to let him feel mad at me because he thinks I am the hold up.I hope one day he has the heart to do the same thing to protect the heart of my grandchild or greatgradchild or somebody elses . The protection we give our children in childhood is also a skill. Maybe you have to tell her a little something that is true and exsplains the wait and even lets her know the bioparents are happy she is doing well or that that is what they want more than anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 241077, member: 6271"] There is plenty of time to have some type of moment later. Just drop the subject and be there for your daughter to talk about her thoughts and feelings. She may continue to insist that she wants to meet them, or whatever, and mostly she is just needing to talk about them in some context. If you can help her to express her thinking to you about the topic of having bioparents without you doing anything about it. As a parent it is hard to converse about something when our inclination and an enormous amount of our time is about giving and service to our children. Even when they are doing the work and being co-operative or otherwords we tend to be serving their process of learning. Some of the most reveling conversations I have had with my son were around things and people he cares about and I couldn't make that happen. It was something that we have done around both those things all his life.Find a way to have that conversation without the goal to do the meeting being the focus. What does it feel like to her that she has those relations that she has not met or seen for so long. What does she imagin will happen? One such conversation I learned what my son thought would happen and it was this sweet reflection of his vision of care where he really thought that others in his family would consider his hearts desires like I do. When the reason we never do see them is because the reality is nothing NOTHING like he would wish. For me it is easy to let him feel mad at me because he thinks I am the hold up.I hope one day he has the heart to do the same thing to protect the heart of my grandchild or greatgradchild or somebody elses . The protection we give our children in childhood is also a skill. Maybe you have to tell her a little something that is true and exsplains the wait and even lets her know the bioparents are happy she is doing well or that that is what they want more than anything. [/QUOTE]
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I'm done searching for N's birthparents. Wow.
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