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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 120036" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Jen, </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are having such a rough day, year, two years. Please do not look at taking Xanax as loosing a battle. Look at it like this - your body is made up of chemicals. Extreme stress depletes the chemicals our brain and body need to battle ever day stressors. Xanax or any other anti-anxiety pill replaces those chemicals so we can function. </p><p></p><p>Unless you are willing and able to totally walk away from your children, your home, and you life - you aren't going to be able to do day to day activities and learn how to heal without a little help. No one says you have to take it forever - when you feel like your chemical levels are back to normal - you will know. Then you can stop taking the medications. </p><p></p><p>My son said the same thing to me about not knowing WHY he's even here on earth - heck I don't know anyone who hasn't questioned their mortality. I think too, a lot of things our kids say to us when we are living in high-stress situations seem magnified 100 %. My son could say something any other kid would say and I would try to UNDERSTAND it, and analyze it. Figure out where that comment came from, what did it REALLY mean. Junk like that wears you out quicker than your kids will. </p><p></p><p>I know you think I am preachy, big sister, gotta tell you what to do when I give you advice - and well; maybe I am. Actually I am the big sister so I don't know how to be the not big sister. But when I have been telling you lately to seek counseling a the womens shelter, and leave the situation you are in IF there is a solid better one for you and your children - it's because I'm trying to reach out and help you not make the same mistakes I made. I'm very up front about things I've done in my life - and I'm not pounding the pulpit - I'm just hoping something I say makes you realize - You do NOT have to live like this. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad your boyfriend was there for you this morning. But he should be there for you ALL THE FREAKING TIME - not just when you are having a nervous breakdown. You should be treated like a very special person every day - not just when your fan has dirty blades (it hits the fan) and you fall into a shivering, lump and cry. The crying is a release - it's a good thing. Crying isn't all bad - it's like the valve on a steam kettle - I mean - you're a woman - so you don't belch or fart and unless you let off a little steam you will explode. I know I've been there when I wasnt' there. </p><p></p><p>Do I think you need to get some additional therapy right now? Yup. Do I think you need to work on YOU more than anyone else? Yup Yup - and I even told you why - because today is a good and valuable lesson for you EVEN though - it's been a bad day. Why? Because you found out you're human, you found a release in crying, and you have to think now - WHAT WOULD happen to my 2 little girls if the cheese DOES slide off my cracker? </p><p></p><p>You say your family is no help. You say your friend isn't really a friend. So who does that leave to take care of the two people in the world who love you and need you most? YOU. So when i say TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST - NOW, TODAY - it does NOT mean Ignore your children and go get a manicure - It means GET YOUR MENTAL HEALTH in order. Only YOU can do it. I can only sit here 1,000's of miles away and wish there were more I could do that tell you - TAKE CARE OF YOU. </p><p></p><p>When you take care of YOU first - a lot of great things begin to happen. You start to find your kids see you in a different light. It's like they can smell that you are better and honestly - you get less static from them. You get respect for yourself because you are actually taking CARE of yourself. Any S/O or boyfriend you have either gets with the program or you loose him without worrying about anything - you just move on. And because you start to like yourself more, have more self-esteem - you will see less and less outrageous behaviors in your children. WHY? Because YOU start drawing the line in the sand and saying THIS, (draw line) world IS WHAT I WILL TOLERATE. But...you just can't get up tomorrow and draw a line and say it - you have to LEARN about yourself and layer by layer...</p><p></p><p>I know you are in counseling - and I applaud you and I am proud of you. I am proud of you today admitting YOU ARE NOT WONDER WOMAN!!! You ARE a wonder - you ARE a woman - but you don't have an invisible jet parked out in the street and your wrist protectors can't deflect houseflies - let alone the crud that is being thrown at you - (get a visual on that) </p><p></p><p>SO HUGE HUGS - and <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/flowers.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":flowers:" title="flowers :flowers:" data-shortname=":flowers:" /></p><p>Star</p><p></p><p>ps your title post is called I'm done - I'd change it if I could to "I'm just beginning." </p><p></p><p>NOW GET OUT THERE GIRL AND GET 'EM........</p><p>(of course after your nap and a piece of chocolate)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 120036, member: 4964"] Jen, I am sorry you are having such a rough day, year, two years. Please do not look at taking Xanax as loosing a battle. Look at it like this - your body is made up of chemicals. Extreme stress depletes the chemicals our brain and body need to battle ever day stressors. Xanax or any other anti-anxiety pill replaces those chemicals so we can function. Unless you are willing and able to totally walk away from your children, your home, and you life - you aren't going to be able to do day to day activities and learn how to heal without a little help. No one says you have to take it forever - when you feel like your chemical levels are back to normal - you will know. Then you can stop taking the medications. My son said the same thing to me about not knowing WHY he's even here on earth - heck I don't know anyone who hasn't questioned their mortality. I think too, a lot of things our kids say to us when we are living in high-stress situations seem magnified 100 %. My son could say something any other kid would say and I would try to UNDERSTAND it, and analyze it. Figure out where that comment came from, what did it REALLY mean. Junk like that wears you out quicker than your kids will. I know you think I am preachy, big sister, gotta tell you what to do when I give you advice - and well; maybe I am. Actually I am the big sister so I don't know how to be the not big sister. But when I have been telling you lately to seek counseling a the womens shelter, and leave the situation you are in IF there is a solid better one for you and your children - it's because I'm trying to reach out and help you not make the same mistakes I made. I'm very up front about things I've done in my life - and I'm not pounding the pulpit - I'm just hoping something I say makes you realize - You do NOT have to live like this. I'm glad your boyfriend was there for you this morning. But he should be there for you ALL THE FREAKING TIME - not just when you are having a nervous breakdown. You should be treated like a very special person every day - not just when your fan has dirty blades (it hits the fan) and you fall into a shivering, lump and cry. The crying is a release - it's a good thing. Crying isn't all bad - it's like the valve on a steam kettle - I mean - you're a woman - so you don't belch or fart and unless you let off a little steam you will explode. I know I've been there when I wasnt' there. Do I think you need to get some additional therapy right now? Yup. Do I think you need to work on YOU more than anyone else? Yup Yup - and I even told you why - because today is a good and valuable lesson for you EVEN though - it's been a bad day. Why? Because you found out you're human, you found a release in crying, and you have to think now - WHAT WOULD happen to my 2 little girls if the cheese DOES slide off my cracker? You say your family is no help. You say your friend isn't really a friend. So who does that leave to take care of the two people in the world who love you and need you most? YOU. So when i say TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST - NOW, TODAY - it does NOT mean Ignore your children and go get a manicure - It means GET YOUR MENTAL HEALTH in order. Only YOU can do it. I can only sit here 1,000's of miles away and wish there were more I could do that tell you - TAKE CARE OF YOU. When you take care of YOU first - a lot of great things begin to happen. You start to find your kids see you in a different light. It's like they can smell that you are better and honestly - you get less static from them. You get respect for yourself because you are actually taking CARE of yourself. Any S/O or boyfriend you have either gets with the program or you loose him without worrying about anything - you just move on. And because you start to like yourself more, have more self-esteem - you will see less and less outrageous behaviors in your children. WHY? Because YOU start drawing the line in the sand and saying THIS, (draw line) world IS WHAT I WILL TOLERATE. But...you just can't get up tomorrow and draw a line and say it - you have to LEARN about yourself and layer by layer... I know you are in counseling - and I applaud you and I am proud of you. I am proud of you today admitting YOU ARE NOT WONDER WOMAN!!! You ARE a wonder - you ARE a woman - but you don't have an invisible jet parked out in the street and your wrist protectors can't deflect houseflies - let alone the crud that is being thrown at you - (get a visual on that) SO HUGE HUGS - and :flowers: Star ps your title post is called I'm done - I'd change it if I could to "I'm just beginning." NOW GET OUT THERE GIRL AND GET 'EM........ (of course after your nap and a piece of chocolate) [/QUOTE]
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