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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 120079"><p>I had to get up and walk away from the computer when I read that. It brought back so many raw emotions and memories.</p><p></p><p>Does she have an IEP in school? Does the school do anything to help her through this? Not having a psychologist available or SOMEONE available to help her when she's struggling so is unacceptable. Do they allow her somewhere to go (other than the nurses office) when her anxiety is overwhelming her?</p><p></p><p>I ask these questions, hon, because I have been exactly where you are. My daughter has severe anxiety and I could have written those above words verbatim.</p><p></p><p>The school assured me of the same thing, too. 'She's fine when she gets here.' Well, no she wasn't; she just wasn't acting out. That's their definition of fine. She wasn't 'coping' either. When one is coping, I'm not carrying her to the car kicking and screaming and she's not getting out wiping tears off her face. Coping isn't spending half the day in the nurses office. Coping isn't my bouncing off the walls child sitting quietly and not speaking. Ever. She was surviving. Plain and simple.</p><p></p><p>I have another child with anxiety. My son. His isn't incapacitating. He copes. He goes through all of the angst, but is able to proceed and come through with flying colors. That's coping.</p><p></p><p>It infuriates me how they expect the child to cope with something they don't have the skills or tools to know how to cope with. </p><p></p><p>I apologize if I sound harsh, but that is something near and dear to my heart and something I spent many years - still to this day - dealing with. It wasn't until the 6th grade that the SD did anything. After years of therapy, psychiatrists, and a neuropsychologist evaluation, almost daily phone calls with school staff, talking about IEP's, playing their game and going with the interventions first and then they never schedule a time for us to meet, letting them speak directly with difficult child's therapist, difficult child missing day after day of school because she was spiraling hard and fast then they turned me in for truancy. I went off. Just the night before, difficult child spent 3 hours curled up in a corner saying she wished she were dead. When I called the guidance counselor about the truancy issue she said it was my responsibility to get her to school. That was it for me. I asked her what are they doing for her when she gets there. Nothing. I mentioned IEP evaluation that hadn't been done, lack of interventions, teachers that didn't even know difficult child had a speech issue because she never spoke, FAPE and a lawyer. I called the SpEd director and gave her an earful. I sent my certified letters requesting evaluations for an IEP. I went to the truancy meeting the next week and the assistant principal was falling over herself apologizing...said she didn't know what was going on until the day I went off. I guess word got around. Said she hadn't got the letter requesting the IEP evaluation yet, but didn't matter. She was starting it. by the way, this was in front of the juvy court liaison re: the truancy issue. Which is good, because I had with me all of my documentation of every phone call, email, every letter from school, letters from therapist, and pertinent law (IDEA 2004) and was ready to let the liaison know just what I've been trying to do and just how this SD has been failing my daughter since the 2nd grade. </p><p></p><p>That's my soapbox moment.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 120079"] I had to get up and walk away from the computer when I read that. It brought back so many raw emotions and memories. Does she have an IEP in school? Does the school do anything to help her through this? Not having a psychologist available or SOMEONE available to help her when she's struggling so is unacceptable. Do they allow her somewhere to go (other than the nurses office) when her anxiety is overwhelming her? I ask these questions, hon, because I have been exactly where you are. My daughter has severe anxiety and I could have written those above words verbatim. The school assured me of the same thing, too. 'She's fine when she gets here.' Well, no she wasn't; she just wasn't acting out. That's their definition of fine. She wasn't 'coping' either. When one is coping, I'm not carrying her to the car kicking and screaming and she's not getting out wiping tears off her face. Coping isn't spending half the day in the nurses office. Coping isn't my bouncing off the walls child sitting quietly and not speaking. Ever. She was surviving. Plain and simple. I have another child with anxiety. My son. His isn't incapacitating. He copes. He goes through all of the angst, but is able to proceed and come through with flying colors. That's coping. It infuriates me how they expect the child to cope with something they don't have the skills or tools to know how to cope with. I apologize if I sound harsh, but that is something near and dear to my heart and something I spent many years - still to this day - dealing with. It wasn't until the 6th grade that the SD did anything. After years of therapy, psychiatrists, and a neuropsychologist evaluation, almost daily phone calls with school staff, talking about IEP's, playing their game and going with the interventions first and then they never schedule a time for us to meet, letting them speak directly with difficult child's therapist, difficult child missing day after day of school because she was spiraling hard and fast then they turned me in for truancy. I went off. Just the night before, difficult child spent 3 hours curled up in a corner saying she wished she were dead. When I called the guidance counselor about the truancy issue she said it was my responsibility to get her to school. That was it for me. I asked her what are they doing for her when she gets there. Nothing. I mentioned IEP evaluation that hadn't been done, lack of interventions, teachers that didn't even know difficult child had a speech issue because she never spoke, FAPE and a lawyer. I called the SpEd director and gave her an earful. I sent my certified letters requesting evaluations for an IEP. I went to the truancy meeting the next week and the assistant principal was falling over herself apologizing...said she didn't know what was going on until the day I went off. I guess word got around. Said she hadn't got the letter requesting the IEP evaluation yet, but didn't matter. She was starting it. by the way, this was in front of the juvy court liaison re: the truancy issue. Which is good, because I had with me all of my documentation of every phone call, email, every letter from school, letters from therapist, and pertinent law (IDEA 2004) and was ready to let the liaison know just what I've been trying to do and just how this SD has been failing my daughter since the 2nd grade. That's my soapbox moment. [/QUOTE]
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