It is the same cycle every time this happens!! I let it build and build and then when I go off I blurt out everything in me that has been festering!! I got angry and texted my daughters boyfriend and told him I was sick of the way my grandson was being treated and if it didnt change I was going to call CPS. And he tore into me telling me that it is all my fault that my daughter is the way she is, because I am never there for her and all she ever wanted was my love and acceptance!! Called me several nasty names and told me to f off!!! So instead of being strong, today I am sick on my stomach, have a headache, and depressed. I always go in strong but then my brain starts playing with me....maybe I did mess up raising her, maybe her real dad and her stepdad abandoning her caused her to be this way. Maybe if I wouldnt have gotten remarried she would have been different, I dont know how to turn my thoughts off and it is really making me physically sick! I work with two girls that have tons of drama too, but they handle it way better than I do. They are so strong and self confident! I wish I could get to be like that but everything makes me just wana crawl in a hole!! I know very well how pathetic I sound ! I dont know why I just cant get it!!! I have been like this my whole life, I have been to counselors listened to motivational cd's read books write on here....It all makes sense at the time but I can't seem to crawl out of my low self esteem pit!! I never think I am good enough in any situation. That's why it is sooo easy to fall into the......its all your fault trap!! I don;t know...I just don't know anymore!! Now I know I won't be able to see my grandson for a good while and that makes me sad. I need to keep my mouth shut, but I get so aggravated listening to my daughter rant and telling me I am an awful person for not letting her move in with me and I should want to protect her from this abusive boyfriend ! It just makes me a nervous wreck!!! I know detach detach detach......It is sooooooooooooooooo hard!!!!