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Im falling into my same routine.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 683376" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>First, BIG (((HUGS))) TO YOU!!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>None of us are perfect parents and we all have made mistakes BUT, each person on this planet gets to choose how they will live their life. My bio-father sexually abused me but I did not let that define me. Did it mess me up a little in my head, yes, but I made the choice that I was not going to be a victim. Regardless of what happens to us in life we each get to choose how we will respond and how we will live our lives.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Here is something you might try, when you are feeling this way get a pad of paper and write 100 times, I will detach from daughters drama.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Don't be fooled by how others appear to handle something. They may be putting on a brave face but when they are alone they just might be losing it. Don't compare yourself to them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You do not sound pathetic, you sound like someone who loves deeply and hurts deeply. You will get it, you really will. I and many others here have been right where you are.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are good enough. I want you to write on some sticky notes and put them on your mirror and other places you will see them.</p><p>I AM GOOD ENOUGH I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER I WILL OVERCOME I WILL NOT LISTEN TO NEGATIVE TALK, I AM BETTER THAN THAT</p><p>The power of positive thinking is a remarkable tool.</p><p>My ex (d_c's bio dad) was so very cruel to me emotionally. When I would tell him I wanted out of our relationship he would tell me things like "no one else would want you" "you will never make it without me"</p><p>When I finally did leave him I had other people tell me the opposite of what he told me. I learned about positive thinking and it really works.</p><p>Your daughters boyfriend is just a plain mean nasty person to speak to you the way he did. He is not worthy of your time!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Again, write it down - "keep mouth shut when talking to daughter" keep it where you will see it. Let your daughter rant all she wants then simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way, gotta go, bye"</p><p>Your daughter is hoping that she can make you feel so guilty that you will cave in and let her come live with you.</p><p>Think about it this way, your daughter is telling you that you are such an awful person for not letting her move in with you, well, if you are so "awful" why is she wanting to live with you???</p><p></p><p>ST, we cannot change others we can only change ourselves and by changing ourselves others will see us differently and they will start to change.</p><p></p><p>My son used to try and guilt me all the time, he would dangle the bait and I would bite. When I stopped biting the bait he eventually stopped trying to guilt me into doing things for him.</p><p></p><p>You are doing great ST, don't for one minute think you are not. Sometimes we backslide and that's ok because we get right back on track.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 683376, member: 18516"] First, BIG (((HUGS))) TO YOU!!! None of us are perfect parents and we all have made mistakes BUT, each person on this planet gets to choose how they will live their life. My bio-father sexually abused me but I did not let that define me. Did it mess me up a little in my head, yes, but I made the choice that I was not going to be a victim. Regardless of what happens to us in life we each get to choose how we will respond and how we will live our lives. Here is something you might try, when you are feeling this way get a pad of paper and write 100 times, I will detach from daughters drama. Don't be fooled by how others appear to handle something. They may be putting on a brave face but when they are alone they just might be losing it. Don't compare yourself to them. You do not sound pathetic, you sound like someone who loves deeply and hurts deeply. You will get it, you really will. I and many others here have been right where you are. You are good enough. I want you to write on some sticky notes and put them on your mirror and other places you will see them. I AM GOOD ENOUGH I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY I HAVE MUCH TO OFFER I WILL OVERCOME I WILL NOT LISTEN TO NEGATIVE TALK, I AM BETTER THAN THAT The power of positive thinking is a remarkable tool. My ex (d_c's bio dad) was so very cruel to me emotionally. When I would tell him I wanted out of our relationship he would tell me things like "no one else would want you" "you will never make it without me" When I finally did leave him I had other people tell me the opposite of what he told me. I learned about positive thinking and it really works. Your daughters boyfriend is just a plain mean nasty person to speak to you the way he did. He is not worthy of your time!! Again, write it down - "keep mouth shut when talking to daughter" keep it where you will see it. Let your daughter rant all she wants then simply say "I'm sorry you feel that way, gotta go, bye" Your daughter is hoping that she can make you feel so guilty that you will cave in and let her come live with you. Think about it this way, your daughter is telling you that you are such an awful person for not letting her move in with you, well, if you are so "awful" why is she wanting to live with you??? ST, we cannot change others we can only change ourselves and by changing ourselves others will see us differently and they will start to change. My son used to try and guilt me all the time, he would dangle the bait and I would bite. When I stopped biting the bait he eventually stopped trying to guilt me into doing things for him. You are doing great ST, don't for one minute think you are not. Sometimes we backslide and that's ok because we get right back on track. [/QUOTE]
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Im falling into my same routine.....
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