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I'm going to ask some very uncomfortable questions-
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<blockquote data-quote="Running_for_the_shelter" data-source="post: 396142" data-attributes="member: 2960"><p>I have a few thoughts here. I hope I don't offend with my bluntness -- I don't always manage to get e-mail to sound as "soft" as I'd like. </p><p></p><p>I went back to read your posts in one block and am left with some vague uneasiness about your psychiatrist and some of the things you've been told. Others have questioned them, too, such as the lack of belief in the NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) diagnosis or how aggressive behavior was supposed to be gone "immediately" after starting a new drug. Since you've seen other professionals as well, you do have some other data points, but I have to question if you are really getting the best advice. Perhaps you have a lot of faith in this person, but you may ask the neuropsychologist people about some other options.</p><p></p><p>The other thing that really struck me was your statement "But, I'm difficult child's security blanket. He will and does suck me dry. I need to create stronger boundaries with him." Coupling this with another professional's opinion (from another post) that you were "too emotionally involved" with your son does make me wonder if you couldn't benefit from a therapist of your own to help you sort through your feelings and options. A good therapist can really help you identify the issues that you can control and serve as a check on your view of reality. Of course a parent is deeply emotionally involved with her child but perhaps the Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) was picking up on something. Your child is suffering; of course you are going to have a lot of emotion investing in helping him and protecting him. But maybe you're losing a little of your sense of identity and need some help in re-establishing those boundaries between you and him. Then you can be more effective in dealing with him and more objective about the things you can't do.</p><p></p><p>I sympathize with your struggles on the medication/diagnosis carousel. My son is Mood Disorder - not otherwise specified for insurance reasons as well. His psychiatrist freely states there isn't currently a good diagnosis for people like my son and that this is a failing of child psychology at this point in time. The label isn't the child. If the label gets you the services you need and want, great. But it's still not the child and it may not be right. We went through many medications to find one that worked for my son. When he was four, he could truly rage. If it weren't for Lamictal, my house probably would have been destroyed by now. Risperdal was a flipping nightmare for us. Abilify did us no favors but didn't make me want to open a vein like the Risperdal weeks did. Psychotropic drugs for a child are a high-stakes form of roulette, but that's the state of medicine today. It can take a while to find the right mix.</p><p></p><p>Finally, the tool that worked for me when I ran out of other ones was telling myself over and over, He didn't ask to be this way. No one would ask to be born with this brain chemistry. He didn't choose it. This helped me separate the currently infuriating behavior with who my son actually is. Yes, I do feel significant responsibility -- he got the brain chemistry directly from me, after all -- but my little mantra did help me keep a little perspective on him.</p><p></p><p>So, for whatever that was worth. Keep what you like, toss the rest. Best of luck to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Running_for_the_shelter, post: 396142, member: 2960"] I have a few thoughts here. I hope I don't offend with my bluntness -- I don't always manage to get e-mail to sound as "soft" as I'd like. I went back to read your posts in one block and am left with some vague uneasiness about your psychiatrist and some of the things you've been told. Others have questioned them, too, such as the lack of belief in the NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) diagnosis or how aggressive behavior was supposed to be gone "immediately" after starting a new drug. Since you've seen other professionals as well, you do have some other data points, but I have to question if you are really getting the best advice. Perhaps you have a lot of faith in this person, but you may ask the neuropsychologist people about some other options. The other thing that really struck me was your statement "But, I'm difficult child's security blanket. He will and does suck me dry. I need to create stronger boundaries with him." Coupling this with another professional's opinion (from another post) that you were "too emotionally involved" with your son does make me wonder if you couldn't benefit from a therapist of your own to help you sort through your feelings and options. A good therapist can really help you identify the issues that you can control and serve as a check on your view of reality. Of course a parent is deeply emotionally involved with her child but perhaps the Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) was picking up on something. Your child is suffering; of course you are going to have a lot of emotion investing in helping him and protecting him. But maybe you're losing a little of your sense of identity and need some help in re-establishing those boundaries between you and him. Then you can be more effective in dealing with him and more objective about the things you can't do. I sympathize with your struggles on the medication/diagnosis carousel. My son is Mood Disorder - not otherwise specified for insurance reasons as well. His psychiatrist freely states there isn't currently a good diagnosis for people like my son and that this is a failing of child psychology at this point in time. The label isn't the child. If the label gets you the services you need and want, great. But it's still not the child and it may not be right. We went through many medications to find one that worked for my son. When he was four, he could truly rage. If it weren't for Lamictal, my house probably would have been destroyed by now. Risperdal was a flipping nightmare for us. Abilify did us no favors but didn't make me want to open a vein like the Risperdal weeks did. Psychotropic drugs for a child are a high-stakes form of roulette, but that's the state of medicine today. It can take a while to find the right mix. Finally, the tool that worked for me when I ran out of other ones was telling myself over and over, He didn't ask to be this way. No one would ask to be born with this brain chemistry. He didn't choose it. This helped me separate the currently infuriating behavior with who my son actually is. Yes, I do feel significant responsibility -- he got the brain chemistry directly from me, after all -- but my little mantra did help me keep a little perspective on him. So, for whatever that was worth. Keep what you like, toss the rest. Best of luck to you. [/QUOTE]
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