Please forgive me tonight, these questions are weighing heavy on my mind. I know that these are purely opinion and each person will have a different viewpoint depending on where they are at in their journey but would you please consider these and give me your advice: After checking my difficult child into the psychiatric hospital again on Tuesday, I'm very down and sad. What do you do when you're not sure if you can live your life like this for the next some odd years? How do you triage a situation? What I mean is what do you do when you see that your difficult child is damaging all the relationships around you? Who do you save and at what cost? Do you change the core of who you are to save your difficult child when you're not sure he wants to be saved or even understands what that means? I love my difficult child, but I also love his older brother and his little sister. I love my husband, I need him. My problem is that difficult child would be more stable in a home where it was just a one on one situation and that's not possible with me. difficult child thrives in a hospital setting, he is happy there. He is not happy at home. He rallies and fights very hard to be stable when he's here but it's exhausting to see him fight so hard and it's exhausting to help him fight that fight. I'm slowly realizing that when people say, "it'll be alright, it'll be okay", maybe that my idea of what is okay is not the reality for my difficult child and that breaks my heart.