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I'm in such a funk. (warning - LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marcie Mac" data-source="post: 168940" data-attributes="member: 47"><p>Good grief - Just reading your post -I had to go take a nap I was so tired on your behalf. </p><p> </p><p>I am inclined to think husband isn't going to step up to the plate anytime soon - he has no incentive to - he can see it from his view on the sofa but maybe thinks why get up, you always seem to be stepping up and standing on it anyway. LOL</p><p> </p><p>I couldn't even begin to imagine what living on a farm is like, and all of the work involved. However, I can sympathize having a husband that did very little to help around the house - comming home after a 10 hour mentally draining day at work, to find that laundry needs to be done, kids are hungry, house is a mess, needed to deal with the school one more time about youngest difficult child, and lovely husband is plopped on a sofa with remote in hand. And really, a lot of it was my fault because I was so into being super woman, taking care of and doing it all for so many years, he never felt the urge to balance out the work load - I would grumble and complain and at times yell and scream, and he put up with it for a while, go thru the motions, cause he knew, from his experience, I would eventually "step up to the plate" and get whatever it was done - he just needed to wait me out.</p><p> </p><p>Discontentment in an uneven work load, in my humble opinion, starts to eventually spill over into other aspects of a relationship. It breeds bittnerness when you start looking around at others and how easy they have it, and why is it husband can step up to "their plate" so easily and do nothing here (been there done that), and anger starts to fester.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, you know you can't change husband, you can only change yourself. And that is the deal breaker really. He will either align himself with the change, and start to change himself, or he won't. You can write lists and post them on the fridge till the cows come home (no pun intended) and if he doesn't "get it" and run with his half of the list, you will be crossing them off as one more thing, again, you have taken care of each day.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know why a lot of us have such a fear of change, we are down on our knees with the uneven work load, or uneven relationship at home, thinking its much better, that devil we know than the one we don't. On the floor hoping, or praying, for years on end, that our better halfs will use their intuition (yeah, right) and see that its just too much for us, and reach out a hand to help us up. </p><p> </p><p>But kudo's to you for doing all that stuff just to have a weekend off. LOL</p><p> </p><p>Marcie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marcie Mac, post: 168940, member: 47"] Good grief - Just reading your post -I had to go take a nap I was so tired on your behalf. I am inclined to think husband isn't going to step up to the plate anytime soon - he has no incentive to - he can see it from his view on the sofa but maybe thinks why get up, you always seem to be stepping up and standing on it anyway. LOL I couldn't even begin to imagine what living on a farm is like, and all of the work involved. However, I can sympathize having a husband that did very little to help around the house - comming home after a 10 hour mentally draining day at work, to find that laundry needs to be done, kids are hungry, house is a mess, needed to deal with the school one more time about youngest difficult child, and lovely husband is plopped on a sofa with remote in hand. And really, a lot of it was my fault because I was so into being super woman, taking care of and doing it all for so many years, he never felt the urge to balance out the work load - I would grumble and complain and at times yell and scream, and he put up with it for a while, go thru the motions, cause he knew, from his experience, I would eventually "step up to the plate" and get whatever it was done - he just needed to wait me out. Discontentment in an uneven work load, in my humble opinion, starts to eventually spill over into other aspects of a relationship. It breeds bittnerness when you start looking around at others and how easy they have it, and why is it husband can step up to "their plate" so easily and do nothing here (been there done that), and anger starts to fester. Honestly, you know you can't change husband, you can only change yourself. And that is the deal breaker really. He will either align himself with the change, and start to change himself, or he won't. You can write lists and post them on the fridge till the cows come home (no pun intended) and if he doesn't "get it" and run with his half of the list, you will be crossing them off as one more thing, again, you have taken care of each day. I don't know why a lot of us have such a fear of change, we are down on our knees with the uneven work load, or uneven relationship at home, thinking its much better, that devil we know than the one we don't. On the floor hoping, or praying, for years on end, that our better halfs will use their intuition (yeah, right) and see that its just too much for us, and reach out a hand to help us up. But kudo's to you for doing all that stuff just to have a weekend off. LOL Marcie [/QUOTE]
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