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I'm in such a funk. (warning - LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 169020" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Know what, Star, you're probably half right or better. This is the life I want. I like the farm and all the crud that goes with it. I don't always like all the work, but I like what it teaches the kids.</p><p>***</p><p>However, that said, I have realized my limits. husband and I are still not in agreement with the number of animals we have, but we're making preogress. I have managed to sell off half our cows, now its down to the 2 ponies and the horse that seriously has not been ridden in over 2 years...he wants to keep everything (his mother's a pack rat). I want to get rid of them so I don't have to take care of them anymore. He has finally agreed to at least let me farm the ponies out - one is going to live with my neice who just had a baby - the baby will ride it when he gets bigger. The other is still looking for his "farm". That would put us to about half the livestock we had, which means less work in rotating pastures grazing, less hay we have to put up in the summer, less hay we have to feed in the winter, less animals that need vet and farrier care, and more grass available for the old horse that difficult child ACTUALLY USES, which = less feed I have to buy and pour into her toothless head.</p><p>***</p><p>husband was doing better til hay season. I'd be to the point of walking if he hadn't put forth some effort, which he has, at least til hay and the in-law season started again. He folds some laundry here and there, puts dishes in the dishwasher, etc. Its not enuf, but its a start and its progress. I can deal with that from husband...its not enuf, but I can deal and work towards it getting better. But, the ungrateful in-laws pulled him away again in the midst of the big dollars for tutoring, and - now all the work at home is on me again, while their thankless behinds couldn't give a rat's patoot about what him spending every night for half the summer doing their hay does to the rest of HIS FAMILY's life, plus, their nasty "what have you done for me lately" attitude that rubs off on him.... And I'm supposed to be figuring out the logistics to get their angelic granddaughter to tutoring that me and my mom are supposed to be paying for while they sit over there and smirk about having stolen their son back. I know what they'll say when I ask them to help pay for easy child's tutoring, and it will be that they don't have the money (when, in fact, its that they dont' want to quit buying her stupid useless **** that buys her affection instead of giving her something she needs...). But I will ask. </p><p>***</p><p>And presently, the fact that I work my tail off, and am generally proud of it, but wouldn't do quite so much if I didn't have to, feels a little like its being rubbed in my face because there's also the maternal family over there, sitting in their hermit crab shells, with no friends, complaining that easy child lies and sneaks and steals when they lie to me every other time I speak to them. They have no jobs, and very little commitments (remember, this is the woman who is angry because she has her step-kids EVERY weekend - but neither she nor her darling hubby are working this summer, thanks to mama, sooooo.....) and the best I can really hope for for help from these guys to get easy child 2 tutoring? Is probably that her mother will allow us the "extra time" with easy child 2 for me to take her to tutoring. And ya know, that just plain ticks me off to eat bologna and live in a rat hole to do the right thing for the kids while the rest of that crowd lives high on the hog, works for nada, and says to the kid in regards to her inability to read "If you don't get your head out of your (hind end), you'll end up being a stupid *&^&#37; like your father". And I quote. Like that's gonna help. </p><p>***</p><p>But I will ask. I intend to figure out how to transport easy child 2 myself, hand her mom the shedule, tell her I expect her to transport 70% of the time (which is how much of the time she has easy child 2 - while fully expecting her to do none of it), hand her the bill, and and ask her to pay at least half (cause after-all, she's receiving more than 50% support from us...we're not supposed to have to pay for anything except half unexpected medical...hahaha) for help (fully expecting her to deny it). If she does as I suspect, then I plan to go to both sets of grandparents, and point out to one set in particular that they can afford to let their daughter live off them for free, surely they can afford to give their granddaughter a chance at supporting herself in her future (cause Lord knows their daughter isn't gonna know how). If they refuse to pay anything, we pay a couple of months and take her to court. She also fraudulently claimed to have 2 children in her custody when she asked the court to figure child support, so surely when we bring this up to the court, plus the fact that she's voluntarily stopped working on grandma's dime AND refusing the help with tutoring, in addition to refusing to allow her to get FREE tutoring from school for 2 years, surely the court would grace us a little with a slightly reduce child support for the duration of the tutoring... </p><p>***</p><p>I'm having a little hissy fit. Life isn't fair and I came to terms with that a while back, but dang...I want to just dish back what they're dishing me...to husband's family, you don't care about me and my kids, I won't care about you and yours; to the maternal family, if they can't do something for their own kid, why should I? </p><p>***</p><p>But I also don't think that's the right thing to do. Know what I mean?? Its not right for easy child 2 to suffer the consequences of me wanting to act like the rest of her family is...</p><p>***</p><p>PS - Plus, there is something to be said for blowing the kettle lid. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 169020, member: 1848"] Know what, Star, you're probably half right or better. This is the life I want. I like the farm and all the crud that goes with it. I don't always like all the work, but I like what it teaches the kids. *** However, that said, I have realized my limits. husband and I are still not in agreement with the number of animals we have, but we're making preogress. I have managed to sell off half our cows, now its down to the 2 ponies and the horse that seriously has not been ridden in over 2 years...he wants to keep everything (his mother's a pack rat). I want to get rid of them so I don't have to take care of them anymore. He has finally agreed to at least let me farm the ponies out - one is going to live with my neice who just had a baby - the baby will ride it when he gets bigger. The other is still looking for his "farm". That would put us to about half the livestock we had, which means less work in rotating pastures grazing, less hay we have to put up in the summer, less hay we have to feed in the winter, less animals that need vet and farrier care, and more grass available for the old horse that difficult child ACTUALLY USES, which = less feed I have to buy and pour into her toothless head. *** husband was doing better til hay season. I'd be to the point of walking if he hadn't put forth some effort, which he has, at least til hay and the in-law season started again. He folds some laundry here and there, puts dishes in the dishwasher, etc. Its not enuf, but its a start and its progress. I can deal with that from husband...its not enuf, but I can deal and work towards it getting better. But, the ungrateful in-laws pulled him away again in the midst of the big dollars for tutoring, and - now all the work at home is on me again, while their thankless behinds couldn't give a rat's patoot about what him spending every night for half the summer doing their hay does to the rest of HIS FAMILY's life, plus, their nasty "what have you done for me lately" attitude that rubs off on him.... And I'm supposed to be figuring out the logistics to get their angelic granddaughter to tutoring that me and my mom are supposed to be paying for while they sit over there and smirk about having stolen their son back. I know what they'll say when I ask them to help pay for easy child's tutoring, and it will be that they don't have the money (when, in fact, its that they dont' want to quit buying her stupid useless **** that buys her affection instead of giving her something she needs...). But I will ask. *** And presently, the fact that I work my tail off, and am generally proud of it, but wouldn't do quite so much if I didn't have to, feels a little like its being rubbed in my face because there's also the maternal family over there, sitting in their hermit crab shells, with no friends, complaining that easy child lies and sneaks and steals when they lie to me every other time I speak to them. They have no jobs, and very little commitments (remember, this is the woman who is angry because she has her step-kids EVERY weekend - but neither she nor her darling hubby are working this summer, thanks to mama, sooooo.....) and the best I can really hope for for help from these guys to get easy child 2 tutoring? Is probably that her mother will allow us the "extra time" with easy child 2 for me to take her to tutoring. And ya know, that just plain ticks me off to eat bologna and live in a rat hole to do the right thing for the kids while the rest of that crowd lives high on the hog, works for nada, and says to the kid in regards to her inability to read "If you don't get your head out of your (hind end), you'll end up being a stupid *&^% like your father". And I quote. Like that's gonna help. *** But I will ask. I intend to figure out how to transport easy child 2 myself, hand her mom the shedule, tell her I expect her to transport 70% of the time (which is how much of the time she has easy child 2 - while fully expecting her to do none of it), hand her the bill, and and ask her to pay at least half (cause after-all, she's receiving more than 50% support from us...we're not supposed to have to pay for anything except half unexpected medical...hahaha) for help (fully expecting her to deny it). If she does as I suspect, then I plan to go to both sets of grandparents, and point out to one set in particular that they can afford to let their daughter live off them for free, surely they can afford to give their granddaughter a chance at supporting herself in her future (cause Lord knows their daughter isn't gonna know how). If they refuse to pay anything, we pay a couple of months and take her to court. She also fraudulently claimed to have 2 children in her custody when she asked the court to figure child support, so surely when we bring this up to the court, plus the fact that she's voluntarily stopped working on grandma's dime AND refusing the help with tutoring, in addition to refusing to allow her to get FREE tutoring from school for 2 years, surely the court would grace us a little with a slightly reduce child support for the duration of the tutoring... *** I'm having a little hissy fit. Life isn't fair and I came to terms with that a while back, but dang...I want to just dish back what they're dishing me...to husband's family, you don't care about me and my kids, I won't care about you and yours; to the maternal family, if they can't do something for their own kid, why should I? *** But I also don't think that's the right thing to do. Know what I mean?? Its not right for easy child 2 to suffer the consequences of me wanting to act like the rest of her family is... *** PS - Plus, there is something to be said for blowing the kettle lid. :-) [/QUOTE]
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