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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 425334" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>I am with Marcie I absolutely would not throw out a barb like "you chose to live with another mother". That is just baiting her.</p><p></p><p>I would, however, arrange to have "lunch" with "my daughter" on mother's day and her birthday and try to bond with her while being as neutral and detached as a healthy mom can be. Try to emulate a healthy relationship with her. Comment on the weather, the politics, the sports, etc. Some of the best conversations I have with Matt is over politics, actually. His mind intrigues me in this area, and I think vice a versa. Our second best line of conversation is animal advocacy - a topic we are both mutually passionate about. These are adult conversations that have nothing to do with his drama, and I think it is very healthy. Find ones that you and your daughter can share.</p><p></p><p>If she asks for a present, simply say - "I have given you one sweetie - you and me time - this far outweighs any material gift I could possibly give you". And tell her you love her. (Of course if she becomes snotty then abruptly end the entire event - but my guess is she will respond positively to genuine love and attention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 425334, member: 3301"] I am with Marcie I absolutely would not throw out a barb like "you chose to live with another mother". That is just baiting her. I would, however, arrange to have "lunch" with "my daughter" on mother's day and her birthday and try to bond with her while being as neutral and detached as a healthy mom can be. Try to emulate a healthy relationship with her. Comment on the weather, the politics, the sports, etc. Some of the best conversations I have with Matt is over politics, actually. His mind intrigues me in this area, and I think vice a versa. Our second best line of conversation is animal advocacy - a topic we are both mutually passionate about. These are adult conversations that have nothing to do with his drama, and I think it is very healthy. Find ones that you and your daughter can share. If she asks for a present, simply say - "I have given you one sweetie - you and me time - this far outweighs any material gift I could possibly give you". And tell her you love her. (Of course if she becomes snotty then abruptly end the entire event - but my guess is she will respond positively to genuine love and attention. [/QUOTE]
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