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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 162813" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Becklit and welcome! So glad you found us!</p><p> </p><p>Phew, parenting on the same page. That's a minefield sometimes because if you make suggestions, it can be viewed as criticism (in our house anyway <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> ). </p><p> </p><p>I think possibly the best place to start would be to have the therapist (psychologist) work with your son for a while and then have a session with you and husband to hammer out some concrete behavior management/parenting strategies. That way, the information is coming from therapist and not you.</p><p> </p><p>I'm a big fan of tag team parenting. I would deal with thank you until I met my max and was starting to unravel, then husband would step in while I gathered my wits, and vice versa. With so many kids, it can get tricky and doesn't always work but it is a start and for us anyway, it also I think created a sense of how we were team (on bad days, we say it's us against them - the kids, LOL). If your husband is able to do it for short periods of time right now, start building on that. When you see the signs of him getting frustrated, can you step in before it escalates and carry on, while shooing him off somewhere to take a breather? I know, it's hard because you're basically having to manage *his* behavior too in a way, but maybe if he sees that consistency and calm work and you build him up to longer periods...???? </p><p> </p><p>It's been my experience that many times the "blame" is laid at the feet of the parents because of poor parenting skills. Heaven knows, I heard that a *lot* in the early years. And to a certain degree, that was correct in my case. I wasn't the picture of consistency and calm. But as my parenting skills got honed and we were still dealing with the same kinds of behaviors, professionals were able to look past us and move on to what was going on with thank you. Throw in a family history of mood disorders and his dysfunction in school, home, and community along with some pretty serious thought disorders, and it became clear even to professionals by age 6 that thank you had something else going on besides inept parents. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - again, welcome and so glad you found us!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 162813, member: 8"] Hi Becklit and welcome! So glad you found us! Phew, parenting on the same page. That's a minefield sometimes because if you make suggestions, it can be viewed as criticism (in our house anyway ;) ). I think possibly the best place to start would be to have the therapist (psychologist) work with your son for a while and then have a session with you and husband to hammer out some concrete behavior management/parenting strategies. That way, the information is coming from therapist and not you. I'm a big fan of tag team parenting. I would deal with thank you until I met my max and was starting to unravel, then husband would step in while I gathered my wits, and vice versa. With so many kids, it can get tricky and doesn't always work but it is a start and for us anyway, it also I think created a sense of how we were team (on bad days, we say it's us against them - the kids, LOL). If your husband is able to do it for short periods of time right now, start building on that. When you see the signs of him getting frustrated, can you step in before it escalates and carry on, while shooing him off somewhere to take a breather? I know, it's hard because you're basically having to manage *his* behavior too in a way, but maybe if he sees that consistency and calm work and you build him up to longer periods...???? It's been my experience that many times the "blame" is laid at the feet of the parents because of poor parenting skills. Heaven knows, I heard that a *lot* in the early years. And to a certain degree, that was correct in my case. I wasn't the picture of consistency and calm. But as my parenting skills got honed and we were still dealing with the same kinds of behaviors, professionals were able to look past us and move on to what was going on with thank you. Throw in a family history of mood disorders and his dysfunction in school, home, and community along with some pretty serious thought disorders, and it became clear even to professionals by age 6 that thank you had something else going on besides inept parents. ;) Anyway - again, welcome and so glad you found us!! [/QUOTE]
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