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I'm new I can see I'm not as alone as I thought
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<blockquote data-quote="Isla" data-source="post: 654027" data-attributes="member: 18941"><p>Oh Tanya! Your own story is heartbreaking!! But it is wonderful to see that you have a great husband! You must know a lot about detachment, what a journey you've had! I'm so pleased you are also now well!</p><p></p><p>I live in Australia. My granddaughter is 3 and a half. She has stayed with us (my husband and I) on average 3 - 5 days a week since she was 3 months old. From 10 months day and night, often weekends too and always when she was too unwell for my daughter to want her around. More than anything I wish my daughter would get well and be there for my granddaughter. That is what she craves innately. I'm afraid I don't think my daughter has the capacity to empathise, it's as though empathy and connection have always been lacking in her DNA??? The child's father is not very different, but he has some conscious awareness at least.</p><p></p><p>It is a time of enormous readjustment.</p><p></p><p>As far as do we get on with her father goes, it's complicated. He enables my daughter in many ways, yet he is so cruel. He likes to control her through her greed. He is paying her rent yet using her weakness to feel superior and appear a hero to whoever will listen. We used us to support him emotionally as we know the pain she can inflict all too well. He then became more and more demanding. I ignorantly told him in confidence that I kept a diary which he later told me I had to give him or he would subpoena it. I have many examples why he is such a difficult person to get on with but since we have no other option he is the only point of contact we now have to our granddaughter. So although we get on, it is on a civilized level only nowadays.</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you for all your suffering. Thank you so much for reading my post - big hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Isla, post: 654027, member: 18941"] Oh Tanya! Your own story is heartbreaking!! But it is wonderful to see that you have a great husband! You must know a lot about detachment, what a journey you've had! I'm so pleased you are also now well! I live in Australia. My granddaughter is 3 and a half. She has stayed with us (my husband and I) on average 3 - 5 days a week since she was 3 months old. From 10 months day and night, often weekends too and always when she was too unwell for my daughter to want her around. More than anything I wish my daughter would get well and be there for my granddaughter. That is what she craves innately. I'm afraid I don't think my daughter has the capacity to empathise, it's as though empathy and connection have always been lacking in her DNA??? The child's father is not very different, but he has some conscious awareness at least. It is a time of enormous readjustment. As far as do we get on with her father goes, it's complicated. He enables my daughter in many ways, yet he is so cruel. He likes to control her through her greed. He is paying her rent yet using her weakness to feel superior and appear a hero to whoever will listen. We used us to support him emotionally as we know the pain she can inflict all too well. He then became more and more demanding. I ignorantly told him in confidence that I kept a diary which he later told me I had to give him or he would subpoena it. I have many examples why he is such a difficult person to get on with but since we have no other option he is the only point of contact we now have to our granddaughter. So although we get on, it is on a civilized level only nowadays. My heart goes out to you for all your suffering. Thank you so much for reading my post - big hugs! [/QUOTE]
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