I'm new. NEED HELP!!!!!


New Member
, this will be my first post ,I was researching for my 7yr old son , and saw your post, I cried bc this is my daily life but with a little boy, he tries to break his own games if he dies during the game , hr has attavked me physically bc I told him its time fot bed and that happens every night , its started when he was 4 he would get upset and hit himself , or try bang head, but ither times he was happy pretty much normal, it started with Occupational Therapist (Occupational Therapist (OT)) found out he has senory integration issues, pediatrician said ADHD and gave him staterra ,it got worse , in kindergarden he redused to do the intake assesment ,cried yelled ranaway, in school he would be good and ok but anytime a transition would come he would get upset , refuse to do it , or run from teachers and aides even off school property (very scary) its been 2 years we have been told by pediattician lets try more atrattera tjat was horrible he started aaying he wanted to die and hayes his life , so they stopped that amd he pediatrician put him on Abilify with no diagnosis , now his school has been great though aides gettimg kicked even bit once, now after he clams he is always sorry and feels awfully guilty , but when he foes thoufh these out of contril rants he says awful tuings , we tried all kinds of punishment , spankimg, time out, taking pribilages nothing worked , he just doesnt care at all, hell say fine just kill me i deserve to die , he has awful self esteem i think due to being so intelligent he is in first grade and reads at a 5th grade level amd is excellent in math , but he is socially awkward with other children, he is very quick to embaressment or thinks any critique is a attack, we have been through play therapy with run mill counselers thatbwas a disaster , Occupational Therapist (Occupational Therapist (OT)) has been good for him, but you just never know with Lanfon when and what we will get, a lot time if he is occupied with anything and we speak he yells dont talk to me , or ya ya i knw i knw n then gets very very angry , just tje smallest things , thanks to the great school they helped us get into the CAYAC progtam to see a real child psychiatrist his has been slow going, but during this when he isnt amgry ir screamimg he is somtimes happy and fine ,but always says things like I know im terrible or a bad person or im dumb n stupid , ee of course tell him no you habe some differnces and we are truing get help so you can be in control, I have missed tons of work pickimg him up from school last month,hes only been able to go from 9 - 12:30, he just had a EEG and MRI with and without contrast , she wants him to het tesying by psychologist this coming week, however I have heard some possible diagnosis of DMDD which sounds like it fits your daughter quite well. But also ODD, Sensory Integration amd generalized anxiety amd seperation anxiety , I guess in July once have all of this testing back I will know for sure , I have only been takimg him to tons of people n places and fighting and advocating and crying amd almost loosing my mind ,bc I myself have bad anxiety and panic disorder so its been a rough long road but at least the child psychiatrist told me tobtake him off the abilify which wasnt makimg a difference except making his hungry all the time, and she does nit want to do ajy medication till we meet again amf she has her final diagnosis , its scary and you feel like you did somthing wrong or didnt do somthing enough , other kids and parents judhe you and your child even family doesnt seem ro understand he isnt just a mean baf kid , he doesnt enjoy this life , the feeling of being out of control, I felt relief in reading your post , I am not alone and either are you, I pray everyday for the strength and patience to keep fighting for him and hia future for some help and way to live without listening screaming hom throwing things , brelaing items when he makes a simple mistake, amd sometimes jusy speaking to him to get meaness and rudeness back for no reason at all other tham hey need a tubby or lets go to store or its timw for bed or no more tablet, its almost like any confrontation or transistion that isnt of his schoosimg ends with him runnimg, or hitting, threatening and even has said he wants to just die and yells at me to kill him, bc hed rather die then go to sleep its insane and no one underdtands what it is like but those of us here , I just wanted to say Thank you for sharing , I will continue to share and pray with this final diagnosis coming and enough research I can help him be the sweet loving funny boy I know him to be in his heart, nc the down times he is so sweet ,saying im the best mom ever ,he is sorry he did what he did, that he loves all of us, only after 20 mins previous he said he wished I was dead , I know the struggld and thanks for yours and everyones courage. Also I have said right along I felt Ashbergers sounded like him ,with many things with him but I must say this DMDD does sound like my boy to a T , any comments or suggestions or references to care or help please share. Im open for all the help I can get . I DID SHARE THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD , i just want any advice or help or any ideas for him, nc as a lot of you say living day n and day out like this is hell for all of us , Son 7 is the difficult child. Have also 11yr old girl healthy happy adjusted only has ADD is great on concerta , Mom (me) amd poor dad who doesnt know what to say or do and says he feels like a hostage in our home .


New Member
I have three beautiful children, ages 9, 7 and 5. My 7 year old son has some major behavioral issues. I am absolutely certain that he has ODD but I am very confused by what else is going on with him. We have been having issues with him since he was about 2 years old and have had him evaluated by more professionals then you care to count. We have heard everything from bipolar to high functioning autism and the list goes on. We have had blood test, allergy test, eeg, etc. They were all normal.

Through the years, certain behaviors have come and gone. The one thing that has remained constant has been his inability to interact in an appropriate manner around other people. He cannot control his temper. His feelings are very easily hurt and when his feelings get hurt he will lash out. He has broken a neighbors window because he was angry at her son. We have had the police called to our house by another neighbor because he was throwing things over our fence at the neighbor. One neighbor came by our house to tell us that our son had cursed at him. Another neighbor came to our door to tell us that he placed bricks on their car because they told him not to throw sticks in their yard. I know this sounds like we just let him run wild around the neighborhood but we don't, we have too much to loose. He will just walk out the door if we are cleaning, etc. We constantly have to go looking for him when he goes outside.

He has also had extreme difficulties at school. He was expelled from first grade in April due to his behavior. If the teachers' ever make him angry he will call them bad names in the class or write a bad name on a note and have another child take it to the teacher. The funny thing is that even when he is sent to the principal, he never tries to deny that he misbehaved. It is like he wants people to know that he is getting them back. We have tried every form of discipline and nothing works. He just will not conform to the rules of society. If you try to talk with him about his behavior he will either get very frustrated or act silly by licking his foot or doing something else very odd like chewing on his shirt and he acts like he cannot understand what you are saying. But he can.

He also seems to try to offend people for some reason. He does strange things around other children and seems to find enjoyment if they respond in a negative manner. He is always being called weird by other children and I know this has to hurt his feelings but he continues to do it. He wants to have friends but he just can't seem to keep them because he always ends up offending people.

A very major issue in my home is that he absolutely and completely despises his 5 year old sister. Every single day he hits her about a hundred times. His reasons are that she was looking at him funny or she sneezed loudly and it bothered him, etc. This absolutely infuriates me because it is like she cannot even live a peaceful life because he is constantly trying to hurt her. He has received spankings for this and I have talked with him
until I am blue in the face and he just wants to make her life miserable. He also likes to aggrevate his other sister and his father and myself. His 9 year old sister is always asking to go to her grandmother's house because he drives her crazy. We have holes in our walls and nothing in my house is of any value because he breaks things all the time.

We are not perfect parents by any means but we do our best. We are not drug users or abusive or absent parents, etc. I sometimes feel like we have to defend ourselves because we have had people say things like "Where did he hear that kind of language" or we get disapproving looks from people, etc. because of our son's behavior. The one thing that is different between my husband and myself is that he is very strict on my son and does not let him get away with anything. I like to try to pick my battles because they are so frequent with my son.

My son can be a very loving child. He loves to snuggle and can seem very well behaved when he is one on one with adults. It is adding other people to the mix that seems to put him into a tailspin.

We are at a point here where I have run out of solutions and I feel like time is slipping away to try to help him with his behavior. I honestly do not know what to do anymore. I am desperately asking for any recommendations or thoughts on what could possibly help my son.
I FEEL LIKE WE ARE LIVING THE SAME LIFE , if you see my thread you will know why. Hang im there , have they looked into DMDD?


Roll With It
Hi, welcome to the forum! This is exactly where you need to be for support. Parents here truly know EXACTLY how you feel because we have been right where you are. You could be describing my son back when he was a little boy.

You are doing the right things, even though it feels hopeless. For my son it felt hopeless up through the teen years. I truly thought he might end up in prison or worse. Guess what? He has Aspergers and Intractable Depression (very hard to treat depression), but he is on medication that works for him, he works a full time job that he seems to enjoy. He has friends, he participates in activities that he likes, he has rebuilt relationships with his siblings, and he is a lovely young man. So there truly IS hope.

I recommend reading The Explosive Child by Green, What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Riley, The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz. Your library should have all of them.

Personally, getting a handle on the sensory issues can help more than you realize. The books by Kranowitz are for that. If Aspergers had been diagnosed when I was a child, I am sure I would have been diagnosed. My sensory issues are acute. They don't go away as I get older, in fact they seem to get worse. I do learn how to handle them better. I don't fly off the handle as much and I cope with things more. But kids feel sensory things more intensely, and they don't have the coping skills that adults do. So working on his sensory diet is important. It may seem like play to you, or to others, but it is incredibly important.

Ask about brushing therapy for him. It does NOT involve any medication and it retrains the brain to handle sensory input. It must be taught by an occupational therapist, but most of it is done at home or school, so you have to learn it. It is easy, and generally kids tolerate it well. It made a HUGE difference for my son and I have seen it work for MANY others. It is especially effective when followed by gentle joint compression, which the therapist should show you.


Well-Known Member
The Explosive Child by Green, What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Riley, The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz and The Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Kranowitz
Hi Mamabear and welcome.

Forgive me. I want to ask Susie a question. (I feel too overwhelmed right now to speak coherently to your needs but will get back to you.)

Are there any books you recommend for the parent of a differently wired adult child, to understand and support that child?


Roll With It
I need to think on that one Copa. Can I get back to you after I do a little work? Let me check some references. It might be a day or two because I was up all night. J had a big appointment with her neuro and I just could not sleep last night. I just posted about it. But I won't forget and I WILL get back to you. I just might have to get a little sleep before I can think clearly.