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I'm new. Struggling with adult daughter with mental health issues
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 525924" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Hello and welcome Rob. I am so sorry. Have you tried NAMI. I use to attend a parent support group there. There were many parents with older kids and great advise. They also have resources. There are groups for your daughter as well as mentors. At her age she may do better getting help from a peer or someone outside your home. Could she go back to another dorm? </p><p></p><p>Our adult son lives at home but we had things in place so he knew the rules. He doesn't have the mental health issues-but he is ADHD. We told him his room had to be neat and sanitary. He had to be working or full time at school. Had to pay rent if not in school. He has chores. He's a great kid so there are no issues with any of it. We have the same rules for difficult child. She is done with school as well. She on the other hand is tough to get to do what she should. I have had to go bag up her room and throw away things to get her to keep it clean. She loses things as well. I refuse to help her find things-she has to suffer the consequences. This is hard to do at times. </p><p></p><p>I don't have answers. I just know the more we enable them to be irresponsible and do things for them, the more they get the message they are incapable and the less they do. I think my difficult child likes me doing things for her as she is then not responsible. I have had to work double hard at not doing for her. Good luck-I think the road to more freedom for you and your wife will be tough but the only way is to turn her life over to her and let her fail and learn from her mistakes. Maybe then she will take her medication and illnesses seriously.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 525924, member: 11001"] Hello and welcome Rob. I am so sorry. Have you tried NAMI. I use to attend a parent support group there. There were many parents with older kids and great advise. They also have resources. There are groups for your daughter as well as mentors. At her age she may do better getting help from a peer or someone outside your home. Could she go back to another dorm? Our adult son lives at home but we had things in place so he knew the rules. He doesn't have the mental health issues-but he is ADHD. We told him his room had to be neat and sanitary. He had to be working or full time at school. Had to pay rent if not in school. He has chores. He's a great kid so there are no issues with any of it. We have the same rules for difficult child. She is done with school as well. She on the other hand is tough to get to do what she should. I have had to go bag up her room and throw away things to get her to keep it clean. She loses things as well. I refuse to help her find things-she has to suffer the consequences. This is hard to do at times. I don't have answers. I just know the more we enable them to be irresponsible and do things for them, the more they get the message they are incapable and the less they do. I think my difficult child likes me doing things for her as she is then not responsible. I have had to work double hard at not doing for her. Good luck-I think the road to more freedom for you and your wife will be tough but the only way is to turn her life over to her and let her fail and learn from her mistakes. Maybe then she will take her medication and illnesses seriously. [/QUOTE]
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