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I'm not a social worker... but I play one on TV!!! (I'm losing my mind)
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 367799" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Sorry guys. Here I am again.</p><p></p><p>Quick rundown: (almost) 19yo daughter. In and out of jail, tx, etc. Couldn't come home (we would not let her). Lived with-enabler parents, got kicked out. Lived with boyfriend... didn't work out. Moved back in (because we are crazy). Couldn't follow rules. Decided that moving to the Big City was the answer.</p><p></p><p>After we refused her to come to our house (she was using and not following the rules), she broke into my parent's house.</p><p></p><p>As much as I agonized and thought it was a bad idea to take 2 rubbermaid tubs full of her clothes, hop in a car with some guy to get dropped off at some other guy's house in the Big City and "try to make her way" I resigned to it. Didn't give into the drama of it. Let her leave and remained pretty emotionless.</p><p></p><p>Long walks with the husband, trying to work out the worries. Thankfully she checked in by phone and we thought maybe, <em>maybe</em> this would be the thing that worked.</p><p></p><p><em>Two days later she calls asking for a ride home.</em></p><p></p><p>What? Huh?!</p><p></p><p>I offered her a bus ticket. I wasn't going to drive 2 hours to pick her up, drive 2 hours to bring her back. </p><p></p><p>So here she is back at our house and I'm nearly losing my mind.</p><p></p><p>Social life and partying are the #1 priority. </p><p></p><p>We put down these rules:</p><p></p><p>M-F she needs to be in by 11pm, sleep in her bed. Get up in the morning and GET OUT. Go to the library, go to the GED place, go <em>somewhere</em> just get out and be productive. (We still don't really trust her at home, esp. not with the sibs -- besides, this isn't a flop house)</p><p></p><p>I also told her she needed to figure out a place to volunteer a couple times a week, or I'd figure it out for her, but until she had a job, she needed to be putting in volunteer hours.</p><p></p><p>It didn't go over well, as you can imagine. She swore, she bucked, she put on a display. And this morning is all drama. She can't walk, she doesn't know what she will do out of the house all day long (even though she can figure that out pretty easy when she's out hanging with the buddies... but now that we're putting her out it's like child abuse to her).</p><p></p><p>I feel like it's a full-time job trying to manage her. I say nothing, and watch her flop around like a slug, use, abuse the household rules, and flare up any time someone opposes her. I can't do that. I can't live like that.</p><p></p><p>But I can't live like this, either.</p><p></p><p>I have a job. I have other children. A husband. My own mental and physical health. It's too much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 367799, member: 8620"] Sorry guys. Here I am again. Quick rundown: (almost) 19yo daughter. In and out of jail, tx, etc. Couldn't come home (we would not let her). Lived with-enabler parents, got kicked out. Lived with boyfriend... didn't work out. Moved back in (because we are crazy). Couldn't follow rules. Decided that moving to the Big City was the answer. After we refused her to come to our house (she was using and not following the rules), she broke into my parent's house. As much as I agonized and thought it was a bad idea to take 2 rubbermaid tubs full of her clothes, hop in a car with some guy to get dropped off at some other guy's house in the Big City and "try to make her way" I resigned to it. Didn't give into the drama of it. Let her leave and remained pretty emotionless. Long walks with the husband, trying to work out the worries. Thankfully she checked in by phone and we thought maybe, [I]maybe[/I] this would be the thing that worked. [I]Two days later she calls asking for a ride home.[/I] What? Huh?! I offered her a bus ticket. I wasn't going to drive 2 hours to pick her up, drive 2 hours to bring her back. So here she is back at our house and I'm nearly losing my mind. Social life and partying are the #1 priority. We put down these rules: M-F she needs to be in by 11pm, sleep in her bed. Get up in the morning and GET OUT. Go to the library, go to the GED place, go [I]somewhere[/I] just get out and be productive. (We still don't really trust her at home, esp. not with the sibs -- besides, this isn't a flop house) I also told her she needed to figure out a place to volunteer a couple times a week, or I'd figure it out for her, but until she had a job, she needed to be putting in volunteer hours. It didn't go over well, as you can imagine. She swore, she bucked, she put on a display. And this morning is all drama. She can't walk, she doesn't know what she will do out of the house all day long (even though she can figure that out pretty easy when she's out hanging with the buddies... but now that we're putting her out it's like child abuse to her). I feel like it's a full-time job trying to manage her. I say nothing, and watch her flop around like a slug, use, abuse the household rules, and flare up any time someone opposes her. I can't do that. I can't live like that. But I can't live like this, either. I have a job. I have other children. A husband. My own mental and physical health. It's too much. [/QUOTE]
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I'm not a social worker... but I play one on TV!!! (I'm losing my mind)
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