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I'm not mad, just annoyed
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 539216" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Hmmm, maybe I didn't express what it is that I find annoying well enough. I'm OKAY with difficult child or easy child going to see their dad for fathers day, in fact, I encouraged a get together on that special day all their lives...it was exh who bowed out. </p><p></p><p>H gets it too...but yes, he's a bit missing his girls since they were both gone this year. </p><p></p><p>My problem is that difficult child STILL after nearly 20 years of having H in her life as a father figure has not been able to realize that by showing affection or emotion for H doesn't mean she is perceived as loving her bio dad less...even with her bio dad gets it, he really does. </p><p></p><p>IMVHO, I feel that H is always an after thought in difficult child's head and heart, yet, he's the one that always has come through for her. We live 150 miles away from exh. As children, easy child and difficult child only saw their bio dad for holidays. He refused to visit them here but maybe once a year and I drove to him 27 times the first year we lived away from LI. It wasn't until the girls were well into their teens did exh and they begin to develop a closer relations, which, again, if FINE...in fact, I am thrilled that I always maintained good contact with exh for their benefit.</p><p></p><p>That said, it just would have been nice if difficult child had called me at some point Friday night or Saturday morning and told me she had changed her plans. It still would have grated on MY nerves, but at least it wouldn't have been as it was. Both H and I were expecting difficult child and E today....but when H asked after them, I just pretended like there were no change of plans. H is not stupid, but he understands that ex is her dad. And so do I. </p><p></p><p>It's the difficult child behavior, she has made such strides and then, on a dime, it's the same old same old, Know what I mean?? I'm probably still not explaining it well and I just sound like a bitter mom who hates her ex, but it's not like that. Lol. Oh well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 539216, member: 2211"] Hmmm, maybe I didn't express what it is that I find annoying well enough. I'm OKAY with difficult child or easy child going to see their dad for fathers day, in fact, I encouraged a get together on that special day all their lives...it was exh who bowed out. H gets it too...but yes, he's a bit missing his girls since they were both gone this year. My problem is that difficult child STILL after nearly 20 years of having H in her life as a father figure has not been able to realize that by showing affection or emotion for H doesn't mean she is perceived as loving her bio dad less...even with her bio dad gets it, he really does. IMVHO, I feel that H is always an after thought in difficult child's head and heart, yet, he's the one that always has come through for her. We live 150 miles away from exh. As children, easy child and difficult child only saw their bio dad for holidays. He refused to visit them here but maybe once a year and I drove to him 27 times the first year we lived away from LI. It wasn't until the girls were well into their teens did exh and they begin to develop a closer relations, which, again, if FINE...in fact, I am thrilled that I always maintained good contact with exh for their benefit. That said, it just would have been nice if difficult child had called me at some point Friday night or Saturday morning and told me she had changed her plans. It still would have grated on MY nerves, but at least it wouldn't have been as it was. Both H and I were expecting difficult child and E today....but when H asked after them, I just pretended like there were no change of plans. H is not stupid, but he understands that ex is her dad. And so do I. It's the difficult child behavior, she has made such strides and then, on a dime, it's the same old same old, Know what I mean?? I'm probably still not explaining it well and I just sound like a bitter mom who hates her ex, but it's not like that. Lol. Oh well. [/QUOTE]
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