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I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 155971" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Butterfly, you said, "He thinks if he goes into all out scream mode we will let it pass..."</p><p></p><p>The reason he thinks this, is because he has already got into bad habits and this has worked for him so much in the past.</p><p></p><p>What you are trying to do, is change this mindset, change the pattern of behaviour and teach him new ones.</p><p></p><p>You are doing it exactly right. Yes, it does feel like you are walking on eggshells, but you need to stop and think - how is his behaviour? What was the outcome this way, compared to how it would have been? Keep checking like this and as long as it continues to show improvement, then keep it up.</p><p></p><p>Using humour is good. Humour is a marvellous tool for defusing tension. </p><p></p><p>This takes practice, but I found that the more I did things this way, the easier it was on me - I felt less tension too.</p><p></p><p>But meowbunny has a point - you do need to be careful you don't resent the effort you are putting in. The way you are doing things now - it's not permanent. He IS only 5, this will take a while and as time moves on, you will find there are different issues. Older problems will no longer be problems. Things do change.</p><p></p><p>Keep a diary for now. Write down this sort of thing. In a year, go back and read it. You will see far more improvement than you would think.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 155971, member: 1991"] Butterfly, you said, "He thinks if he goes into all out scream mode we will let it pass..." The reason he thinks this, is because he has already got into bad habits and this has worked for him so much in the past. What you are trying to do, is change this mindset, change the pattern of behaviour and teach him new ones. You are doing it exactly right. Yes, it does feel like you are walking on eggshells, but you need to stop and think - how is his behaviour? What was the outcome this way, compared to how it would have been? Keep checking like this and as long as it continues to show improvement, then keep it up. Using humour is good. Humour is a marvellous tool for defusing tension. This takes practice, but I found that the more I did things this way, the easier it was on me - I felt less tension too. But meowbunny has a point - you do need to be careful you don't resent the effort you are putting in. The way you are doing things now - it's not permanent. He IS only 5, this will take a while and as time moves on, you will find there are different issues. Older problems will no longer be problems. Things do change. Keep a diary for now. Write down this sort of thing. In a year, go back and read it. You will see far more improvement than you would think. Marg [/QUOTE]
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