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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 156873" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Butterfly, you are doing a good job with difficult child. But you don't have to parent the kids differently - these techniques also work well for PCs. Obviously you will have different things in the Baskets, and in other ways handle things differently, but if you have kids of different ages you ALWAYS do some things differently anyway. For example, easy child could stay up until 10 pm because she was in her teens and using the time to do homework. difficult child 1 could stay up until 9.30 pm because he was insomniac anyway, and could function next day without being overtired. But easy child 2/difficult child 2, who was still only about 8 years old, had an 8 pm bedtime because she desperately needed sleep. Plus, she was younger. And of course, difficult child 1 back then was a baby and as sleeping the way babies do. I wouldn't have inflicted HIS bedtime on the older kids!</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 is now an adult (according to the calendar, anyway). But we still walk on eggshells with her at times, she still throws tantrums and has meltdowns. We have different Baskets with her, to difficult child 3's Baskets, but they're still very much in use. And with both of them, we still have "discussing the problem after they've calmed down" in Basket B. The food they eat - basket C still, because they each have very strong likes/dislikes (to the point of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)) and although I occasionally ask them to try something new, I've found it's less effort to cook for the individuals than to argue about it. So for example, if I'm cooking a roast dinner - difficult child 3 gets his meal served first. he gets meat, lots of peas, roast potatoes, roast carrot. No gravy. easy child 2/difficult child 2 gets meat, very few peas, roast potato, raw carrot and double gravy. In fact, the kids mostly serve themselves and that way can choose how much and where to pour their gravy. easy child gets meat, peas, no roast potato, roast pumpkin, roast kumara (orange sweet potato), roast carrot and no gravy. BF1 - meat, roast potato, roast pumpkin, LOTS of roast kumara, maybe a roast carrot, no gravy. And so on. BF2 & difficult child 1 - eat whatever is left over.</p><p></p><p>One meal prepared, with a larger than usual range of extras - but it serves a range of different tastes. </p><p></p><p>"Explosive Child" is similar. One method, a range of different baskets, can be easily adapted to the individual without having to "cook two different meals".</p><p></p><p>You are doing really well.</p><p></p><p>Do let us know how the evaluation goes. difficult child 3 was only three years old when we started him on stims - to the horror of some people who knew. But for him, it was exactly what he needed. difficult child 1 was six years old and should have been on stims much sooner. He'd already had two years of utter misery at school, trying to cope. I think you're very wise to look for answers and support NOW. Good for you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 156873, member: 1991"] Butterfly, you are doing a good job with difficult child. But you don't have to parent the kids differently - these techniques also work well for PCs. Obviously you will have different things in the Baskets, and in other ways handle things differently, but if you have kids of different ages you ALWAYS do some things differently anyway. For example, easy child could stay up until 10 pm because she was in her teens and using the time to do homework. difficult child 1 could stay up until 9.30 pm because he was insomniac anyway, and could function next day without being overtired. But easy child 2/difficult child 2, who was still only about 8 years old, had an 8 pm bedtime because she desperately needed sleep. Plus, she was younger. And of course, difficult child 1 back then was a baby and as sleeping the way babies do. I wouldn't have inflicted HIS bedtime on the older kids! easy child 2/difficult child 2 is now an adult (according to the calendar, anyway). But we still walk on eggshells with her at times, she still throws tantrums and has meltdowns. We have different Baskets with her, to difficult child 3's Baskets, but they're still very much in use. And with both of them, we still have "discussing the problem after they've calmed down" in Basket B. The food they eat - basket C still, because they each have very strong likes/dislikes (to the point of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)) and although I occasionally ask them to try something new, I've found it's less effort to cook for the individuals than to argue about it. So for example, if I'm cooking a roast dinner - difficult child 3 gets his meal served first. he gets meat, lots of peas, roast potatoes, roast carrot. No gravy. easy child 2/difficult child 2 gets meat, very few peas, roast potato, raw carrot and double gravy. In fact, the kids mostly serve themselves and that way can choose how much and where to pour their gravy. easy child gets meat, peas, no roast potato, roast pumpkin, roast kumara (orange sweet potato), roast carrot and no gravy. BF1 - meat, roast potato, roast pumpkin, LOTS of roast kumara, maybe a roast carrot, no gravy. And so on. BF2 & difficult child 1 - eat whatever is left over. One meal prepared, with a larger than usual range of extras - but it serves a range of different tastes. "Explosive Child" is similar. One method, a range of different baskets, can be easily adapted to the individual without having to "cook two different meals". You are doing really well. Do let us know how the evaluation goes. difficult child 3 was only three years old when we started him on stims - to the horror of some people who knew. But for him, it was exactly what he needed. difficult child 1 was six years old and should have been on stims much sooner. He'd already had two years of utter misery at school, trying to cope. I think you're very wise to look for answers and support NOW. Good for you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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