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I'm not sure what to call this post. My sad vacation?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 370272" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Crikey, I'd love to be in the car with you and husband, I'd soon show him who's boss.</p><p></p><p>Him. </p><p></p><p>Because he's the one choosing to be passive-aggressive.</p><p></p><p>Buddy, I asked you what YOU plan to do tomorrow, I will work along with you to keep everything ticking along as YOU want it to. So you don't want to tell me? Then I have to do it. So if your refusal to answer means I have to make the decision, please be aware - YOU just chose to get ME to organise it. That was YOU making the decision. So OWN IT!</p><p></p><p>[*jerk features*]</p><p></p><p>My father tried the passive aggressive stuff a few times. A rare few. My mother showed me by her example, how to manage someone who is behaving this way. She did NOT pander to him in any way, nor did she get upset with him. Instead she made it clear - failure to make a decision is in itself a decision. Everyone else's actions are a consequence, so if you don't like what other people choose to do as a result of your own actions - then change your actions and stop griping.</p><p></p><p>I still remember my mother quietly laughing at Dad trying to make her feel guilty for starting lunch without him, when he refused to come in for lunch when we called. Repeatedly. When he finally came in, he got no reproaches, just a plate of salad in the fridge with cling wrap on it, and an empty table to eat at, because we had finished. "We figured you were busy so we didn't wait. No sense all of us being hungry." </p><p>Of course, Dad had been wanting us to be suffering too, so his misery could become our misery. it was the "guess why I'm angry" routine and I think my mother was just too busy with 8 kids, to play guessing games.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 370272, member: 1991"] Crikey, I'd love to be in the car with you and husband, I'd soon show him who's boss. Him. Because he's the one choosing to be passive-aggressive. Buddy, I asked you what YOU plan to do tomorrow, I will work along with you to keep everything ticking along as YOU want it to. So you don't want to tell me? Then I have to do it. So if your refusal to answer means I have to make the decision, please be aware - YOU just chose to get ME to organise it. That was YOU making the decision. So OWN IT! [*jerk features*] My father tried the passive aggressive stuff a few times. A rare few. My mother showed me by her example, how to manage someone who is behaving this way. She did NOT pander to him in any way, nor did she get upset with him. Instead she made it clear - failure to make a decision is in itself a decision. Everyone else's actions are a consequence, so if you don't like what other people choose to do as a result of your own actions - then change your actions and stop griping. I still remember my mother quietly laughing at Dad trying to make her feel guilty for starting lunch without him, when he refused to come in for lunch when we called. Repeatedly. When he finally came in, he got no reproaches, just a plate of salad in the fridge with cling wrap on it, and an empty table to eat at, because we had finished. "We figured you were busy so we didn't wait. No sense all of us being hungry." Of course, Dad had been wanting us to be suffering too, so his misery could become our misery. it was the "guess why I'm angry" routine and I think my mother was just too busy with 8 kids, to play guessing games. Marg [/QUOTE]
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I'm not sure what to call this post. My sad vacation?
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