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The Watercooler
I'm not sure what to call this post. My sad vacation?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 370460" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It's possible that husband even now has to deny any problem in himself, because to accept it would mean tat his mother got it badly wrong. And to accept that means he has to accept his mother is a failure in other ways.</p><p></p><p>It is easier for him to keep on insisting its all rubbish, nothing wrong with me, the teachers are idiots anyway, look what they did to me when I was a kid.</p><p></p><p>I have a good friend, an otherwise intelligent woman, who for some years was close friends to a very toxic person who told her all kinds of lies about people we both know. My friend had her eyes opened about her toxic friend and realised how she was being lied to. Then the lies began about her, around town. My friend then says of other friends, "How stupid are they to believe these lies about me? Why don't they come to me and ask for the truth?"</p><p>I keep telling my friend - "Your friends are not stupid. Just gullible. Why do they believe the lies? Well, you did, so why shouldn't they?"</p><p>Another thing my friend does, is sometimes she will repeat an anecdote I know her toxic friend told her, and I will say, "That is not true."</p><p>She says, "Yes it is, it must be, I've known this for years!"</p><p>I remind her, "Who was it who told you?"</p><p>She realises. Goes and checks the information.</p><p></p><p>Lies and toxic friends aren't always shed so easily.</p><p></p><p>We need to be forgiving of those who have been badly misled, especially if it's over many years, because it is easier to keep believing the lies, than to realise you have wasted all that mental energy and years over someone who is toxic and a liar.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 370460, member: 1991"] It's possible that husband even now has to deny any problem in himself, because to accept it would mean tat his mother got it badly wrong. And to accept that means he has to accept his mother is a failure in other ways. It is easier for him to keep on insisting its all rubbish, nothing wrong with me, the teachers are idiots anyway, look what they did to me when I was a kid. I have a good friend, an otherwise intelligent woman, who for some years was close friends to a very toxic person who told her all kinds of lies about people we both know. My friend had her eyes opened about her toxic friend and realised how she was being lied to. Then the lies began about her, around town. My friend then says of other friends, "How stupid are they to believe these lies about me? Why don't they come to me and ask for the truth?" I keep telling my friend - "Your friends are not stupid. Just gullible. Why do they believe the lies? Well, you did, so why shouldn't they?" Another thing my friend does, is sometimes she will repeat an anecdote I know her toxic friend told her, and I will say, "That is not true." She says, "Yes it is, it must be, I've known this for years!" I remind her, "Who was it who told you?" She realises. Goes and checks the information. Lies and toxic friends aren't always shed so easily. We need to be forgiving of those who have been badly misled, especially if it's over many years, because it is easier to keep believing the lies, than to realise you have wasted all that mental energy and years over someone who is toxic and a liar. Marg [/QUOTE]
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I'm not sure what to call this post. My sad vacation?
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