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I'm so mentally exhausted about the
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 191899" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I found the psychiatrist who did therapy as well as medications pretty much by accident. We had just been dropped by the developmental pediatrician because he stopped taking the medicare we had, and then when we got private insurance a month later he didn't take that company because they have a terrible reputation (but we have great coverage with them). So I called around and got into a large psychiatric hospital's intake dept and they set us up with the doctor who had the first availability. We met him and talked with him because we really NEEDED someone to do the medications. He started out the talk therapy with asking how things were going. Then he had them schedule longer appts because it was clear that we had a LOT going on at the time. We stopped after having several young ladies that Wiz was in teh psychiatric hospital with tell ME (not tell Wiz, but tell ME) that he was inappropriate with them when they were in the psychiatric hospital. I really really don't EVER want to support someone who is inappropriate with a teen - I had enough of this when I was a teen. It was a shame, because he was reallly firm with Wiz and while Wiz resented what the psychiatrist said, he also seemed to act on the directives adn guidance given. I didn't stop seeing him based on what the teens said, it did play a role, but I did speak with a nurse who worked for an agency - she filled in at the psychiatric hospital and a number of other places. She had stopped working at the psychiatric hospital based on what the doctor did. We had becoem friendly and met for coffee a few times. That is when she told me that the girls were being truthful - she had walked in on him with one of the girls. When she complained to the agency she worked for the psychiatric hospital made compalints about her in return. But the psychiatric hospital made complaints AFTER several written reports of her service that were glowing, so the complaints were not taken seriously against her. </p><p> </p><p>I am not sure what method he used, just that he would insist on accountability by Wiz. I havent' really looked for a therapist who used a specific technique, other than finding that the various reward systems rarely worked.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think it is unrealistic to expect the therapist to work toward goals you and your difficult child set. I also think that it is reasonable to interview the tdocs before bringing your child in UNLESS the child wants to be part of the interview process. Jess has helped me interview a number of tdocs for her. I want her input. BUT with the way some tdocs ahve insisted that your relationship with difficult child and your family dynamic are the reason for his problems, rather than focusing on the problems that the bipolar cause, I can see wanting to get a feel for the therapist before you bring difficult child in to meet him.</p><p> </p><p>I guess what I see you asking is for a therapist to be realistic and to give you the tools suggested by the CABF forum and the Bipolar Child book. And a therapist who is not versed in the illness your son has will not be able to cope with the problems the illness causes. The therapist will also not be able to help YOU modify your relationship with difficult child in ways that your difficult child needs so that HE can cope with his illness. I can see why traditional therapy that focuses the responsibility for all problems on the family dynamic would not help your situation. Mostly because the problems are more accurately caused by the illness. And difficult child needs to learn to take responsibility for doing things that cause him to cycle, for his behavior when cycling, and to learn to pay attention to cues that he may be manic or depressed or heading into mania or depression.</p><p> </p><p>I think that when you find the right therapist he will be able to make a lot of headway. I also think it is totally ridiculous for a therapist to not know what the problems are after several weeks or months of therapy. To keep asking you what the problems are seems idiotic. It gives the impression that the man can't bother to keep his patients and their problems straight. That would make me incredibly uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>I do think that there are many kinds of therapy that can be helpful in a person who is stable. In a person who is unstable there is going to be soemthing specific needed, and most likely until they are stable not much will be accomplished in talk therapy. BUT that is my opinion and impression of the needs of someone with bipolar. so it might be totally wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, the therapist you saw who said he was well versed in therapy for BiPolar (BP), yet didn't remember your son's problems and family situation after several months seemed to be a waste of time. And for some people it takes a LOT to find the person they can be comfortable enough with to open up.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you had therapists who drove wedges between you and difficult child. That is an irresponsible thing for a therapist to do, in my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 191899, member: 1233"] I found the psychiatrist who did therapy as well as medications pretty much by accident. We had just been dropped by the developmental pediatrician because he stopped taking the medicare we had, and then when we got private insurance a month later he didn't take that company because they have a terrible reputation (but we have great coverage with them). So I called around and got into a large psychiatric hospital's intake dept and they set us up with the doctor who had the first availability. We met him and talked with him because we really NEEDED someone to do the medications. He started out the talk therapy with asking how things were going. Then he had them schedule longer appts because it was clear that we had a LOT going on at the time. We stopped after having several young ladies that Wiz was in teh psychiatric hospital with tell ME (not tell Wiz, but tell ME) that he was inappropriate with them when they were in the psychiatric hospital. I really really don't EVER want to support someone who is inappropriate with a teen - I had enough of this when I was a teen. It was a shame, because he was reallly firm with Wiz and while Wiz resented what the psychiatrist said, he also seemed to act on the directives adn guidance given. I didn't stop seeing him based on what the teens said, it did play a role, but I did speak with a nurse who worked for an agency - she filled in at the psychiatric hospital and a number of other places. She had stopped working at the psychiatric hospital based on what the doctor did. We had becoem friendly and met for coffee a few times. That is when she told me that the girls were being truthful - she had walked in on him with one of the girls. When she complained to the agency she worked for the psychiatric hospital made compalints about her in return. But the psychiatric hospital made complaints AFTER several written reports of her service that were glowing, so the complaints were not taken seriously against her. I am not sure what method he used, just that he would insist on accountability by Wiz. I havent' really looked for a therapist who used a specific technique, other than finding that the various reward systems rarely worked. I don't think it is unrealistic to expect the therapist to work toward goals you and your difficult child set. I also think that it is reasonable to interview the tdocs before bringing your child in UNLESS the child wants to be part of the interview process. Jess has helped me interview a number of tdocs for her. I want her input. BUT with the way some tdocs ahve insisted that your relationship with difficult child and your family dynamic are the reason for his problems, rather than focusing on the problems that the bipolar cause, I can see wanting to get a feel for the therapist before you bring difficult child in to meet him. I guess what I see you asking is for a therapist to be realistic and to give you the tools suggested by the CABF forum and the Bipolar Child book. And a therapist who is not versed in the illness your son has will not be able to cope with the problems the illness causes. The therapist will also not be able to help YOU modify your relationship with difficult child in ways that your difficult child needs so that HE can cope with his illness. I can see why traditional therapy that focuses the responsibility for all problems on the family dynamic would not help your situation. Mostly because the problems are more accurately caused by the illness. And difficult child needs to learn to take responsibility for doing things that cause him to cycle, for his behavior when cycling, and to learn to pay attention to cues that he may be manic or depressed or heading into mania or depression. I think that when you find the right therapist he will be able to make a lot of headway. I also think it is totally ridiculous for a therapist to not know what the problems are after several weeks or months of therapy. To keep asking you what the problems are seems idiotic. It gives the impression that the man can't bother to keep his patients and their problems straight. That would make me incredibly uncomfortable. I do think that there are many kinds of therapy that can be helpful in a person who is stable. In a person who is unstable there is going to be soemthing specific needed, and most likely until they are stable not much will be accomplished in talk therapy. BUT that is my opinion and impression of the needs of someone with bipolar. so it might be totally wrong. Anyway, the therapist you saw who said he was well versed in therapy for BiPolar (BP), yet didn't remember your son's problems and family situation after several months seemed to be a waste of time. And for some people it takes a LOT to find the person they can be comfortable enough with to open up. I am sorry you had therapists who drove wedges between you and difficult child. That is an irresponsible thing for a therapist to do, in my opinion. [/QUOTE]
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