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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 335925" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Well, I used to ride husband like crazy on this stuff. If I told him to do stuff, and it didn't get done, there was holy hockey sticks to pay. It made life hard for both of us. Then we saw a therapist for a while who helped us to understand that we both love each other and I notice things while he doesn't. He doesn't want to make me unhappy, so he should do these things around the house (which I <em>can't</em> do, by the way) because I need his help, and both of us need to understand that it doesn't mean that the other one doesn't love them if we ask (repeatedly and in a more urgent tone each time) or if we don't do what we're asked to do. IOW, I get to keep nagging until he does it, and no one gets to think that there's anything less than love involved.</p><p></p><p>Mind you, this is 3 years of therapy encapsulated into one paragraph. But it was the bottom line for us.</p><p></p><p>I'm with Heather. He sounds depressed. It took me two years of active therapy to get husband on prozac, though.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 335925, member: 99"] Well, I used to ride husband like crazy on this stuff. If I told him to do stuff, and it didn't get done, there was holy hockey sticks to pay. It made life hard for both of us. Then we saw a therapist for a while who helped us to understand that we both love each other and I notice things while he doesn't. He doesn't want to make me unhappy, so he should do these things around the house (which I [I]can't[/I] do, by the way) because I need his help, and both of us need to understand that it doesn't mean that the other one doesn't love them if we ask (repeatedly and in a more urgent tone each time) or if we don't do what we're asked to do. IOW, I get to keep nagging until he does it, and no one gets to think that there's anything less than love involved. Mind you, this is 3 years of therapy encapsulated into one paragraph. But it was the bottom line for us. I'm with Heather. He sounds depressed. It took me two years of active therapy to get husband on prozac, though. [/QUOTE]
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