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General Parenting
i'm totally spent, i need some advice :)
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 210951" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Jenn, </p><p>***</p><p>I haven't read thru all the replies, so forgive me, but...wee difficult child's IHBT gave us some exercises to make stores 'do-able' with difficult child. It took a lot of time, but it eventually has paid off. (I couldn't take him in any store) And now, I do the bulk of the shopping without him, but if I have to take him, I lessen the list to what I HAVE to have to get thru several days, and we can usually make it thru a short shopping trip.</p><p>***</p><p>This is what we did....It started by making a list. In the beginning, it had one item on it for me, and one for him, and we went every single day (which meant a lot of times I kinda had to make up what I "needed") He saw me make the list, I gave him a couple of choices for his item (when we started with the grocery store, it was usually a choice between a pack of gum or a chocolate milk). He picked and it went on the list. Then we went to the store and bought the things on the list (don't even stop to browse at something else). A helper is good to go along on these trips, too, cause no matter what difficult child does, you need to buy both items on the list, so if he had a complete meltdown, its easier to have a second body with you. (this sounds CRAZY now that I'm writing it down....OMG my life was really like this???? Yes, it was! Wow, we've made progress!)</p><p>***</p><p>When he could handle the 2 items, we increase the list to 3 items - 2 for me, 1 for difficult child. Again, I only bought what was on that piece of paper without even pausing for anything else, and we still went every day. And so on and so forth. When we got up to 3 or 4 items, I started mixing it up - one day, I only put HIS item on the list, then another day, I only put MY item on the list. And eventually, we could go to the grocery store.</p><p>***</p><p>I remember the first time I bought 2 bags of groceries with difficult child in tow. It was nothing short of a miracle and I got home and called the grandparents to brag. lol</p><p>***</p><p>When we tackled the grocery store, we moved on to the dollar store (its all we have in town). I haven't tackled Walmart or anything that big just cause he's not exposed to that often, but the grocery store and the dollar have helped when I do have to take him to walmart. And eventually, we will have to tackle walmart. I still do the bulk of the shopping on my lunch hour, without him, but if I have to, he is able to tag along most of the time now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 210951, member: 1848"] Jenn, *** I haven't read thru all the replies, so forgive me, but...wee difficult child's IHBT gave us some exercises to make stores 'do-able' with difficult child. It took a lot of time, but it eventually has paid off. (I couldn't take him in any store) And now, I do the bulk of the shopping without him, but if I have to take him, I lessen the list to what I HAVE to have to get thru several days, and we can usually make it thru a short shopping trip. *** This is what we did....It started by making a list. In the beginning, it had one item on it for me, and one for him, and we went every single day (which meant a lot of times I kinda had to make up what I "needed") He saw me make the list, I gave him a couple of choices for his item (when we started with the grocery store, it was usually a choice between a pack of gum or a chocolate milk). He picked and it went on the list. Then we went to the store and bought the things on the list (don't even stop to browse at something else). A helper is good to go along on these trips, too, cause no matter what difficult child does, you need to buy both items on the list, so if he had a complete meltdown, its easier to have a second body with you. (this sounds CRAZY now that I'm writing it down....OMG my life was really like this???? Yes, it was! Wow, we've made progress!) *** When he could handle the 2 items, we increase the list to 3 items - 2 for me, 1 for difficult child. Again, I only bought what was on that piece of paper without even pausing for anything else, and we still went every day. And so on and so forth. When we got up to 3 or 4 items, I started mixing it up - one day, I only put HIS item on the list, then another day, I only put MY item on the list. And eventually, we could go to the grocery store. *** I remember the first time I bought 2 bags of groceries with difficult child in tow. It was nothing short of a miracle and I got home and called the grandparents to brag. lol *** When we tackled the grocery store, we moved on to the dollar store (its all we have in town). I haven't tackled Walmart or anything that big just cause he's not exposed to that often, but the grocery store and the dollar have helped when I do have to take him to walmart. And eventually, we will have to tackle walmart. I still do the bulk of the shopping on my lunch hour, without him, but if I have to, he is able to tag along most of the time now. [/QUOTE]
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