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I'm very scared
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 382449" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Sharon,</p><p></p><p>Having lived with depression myself, and having raised (and raising) 2 children with depression the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to lower your expectations for easy child/difficult child right now. When you're depressed *everything* is overwhelming, and you're already beating yourself up for everything to begin with. So, when you're overwhelmed and can't do what is expected of you, you have even more reason to beat yourself up.</p><p></p><p>One of my worst episodes was when I was 16. I had major suicidal ideation and dissociation going on. I missed an average of one day of school a week - sometimes more. I didn't do homework because I just couldn't cope. And I really didn't care. About anything. The only reason I didn't fail is because homework didn't count for that much of your grade at my school, and I always did well on tests - and you can make those up if you miss them. </p><p></p><p>But, if she fails this class right now it's only one quarter and she can still pass it by the end of the school year. If she doesn't graduate on time, it's not the end of the world. It's not what we think of when we are raising our kids, but in my opinion health comes before education. There is always time to make up classes and graduate. Trying to harm herself, or even thinking about wanting to, is much more devastating.</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying to just let school go completely; just to realize that right now it's not the most important issue. I know we look to our kids' futures and want them to be successful in school in order to have a successful future. Some of our kids just have to get there on a different timeline.</p><p></p><p>FWIW, I was very angry at my mom, too. We had screaming matches like you wouldn't believe. Now? I talk to her almost every day. </p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 382449, member: 7083"] Sharon, Having lived with depression myself, and having raised (and raising) 2 children with depression the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to lower your expectations for easy child/difficult child right now. When you're depressed *everything* is overwhelming, and you're already beating yourself up for everything to begin with. So, when you're overwhelmed and can't do what is expected of you, you have even more reason to beat yourself up. One of my worst episodes was when I was 16. I had major suicidal ideation and dissociation going on. I missed an average of one day of school a week - sometimes more. I didn't do homework because I just couldn't cope. And I really didn't care. About anything. The only reason I didn't fail is because homework didn't count for that much of your grade at my school, and I always did well on tests - and you can make those up if you miss them. But, if she fails this class right now it's only one quarter and she can still pass it by the end of the school year. If she doesn't graduate on time, it's not the end of the world. It's not what we think of when we are raising our kids, but in my opinion health comes before education. There is always time to make up classes and graduate. Trying to harm herself, or even thinking about wanting to, is much more devastating. I'm not saying to just let school go completely; just to realize that right now it's not the most important issue. I know we look to our kids' futures and want them to be successful in school in order to have a successful future. Some of our kids just have to get there on a different timeline. FWIW, I was very angry at my mom, too. We had screaming matches like you wouldn't believe. Now? I talk to her almost every day. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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