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Impact of difficult child's on their siblings
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 634984" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>We had quite a lot of support for our parenting when difficult child was young and role of the sibling(s) was always stressed. And we sure did our best to make sure our easy child was not left wanting. We were always very aware what having troubled sibling did cost for him and tried to make sure he got enough attention, wouldn't need to suffer because of his brother and so on.</p><p></p><p>Now that they both are young adults, I wonder if that backfired. My easy child is a great kid in many ways, does well in about everything, is very well liked by everyone and so on, but darn isn't he smug. He honestly seems to believe he is a much better human being than his brother and has some kind of cosmic right to have everything better than his older brother or other people with issues. difficult child and easy child do get along fine most of the time, but I sometimes think if it is only because difficult child shares easy child's high opinion of easy child and unfortunately also shares easy child's much lower opinion of himself. </p><p></p><p>We did try to correct easy child, when he was younger, did something wrong, and came up with: "But at least I didn't do this or that, which difficult child did and why are you after me and not him", but when rest of the environment made it clear to him, that he was 'the good one' and difficult child 'the bad seed' I doubt we ever made much of an impression. And I do worry that now as an adult when he will not be (favourably) compared to his brother all the time any more, that attitude will cost him.</p><p></p><p>And let's face it: That kind of behaviour is really unattractive in anyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 634984, member: 14557"] We had quite a lot of support for our parenting when difficult child was young and role of the sibling(s) was always stressed. And we sure did our best to make sure our easy child was not left wanting. We were always very aware what having troubled sibling did cost for him and tried to make sure he got enough attention, wouldn't need to suffer because of his brother and so on. Now that they both are young adults, I wonder if that backfired. My easy child is a great kid in many ways, does well in about everything, is very well liked by everyone and so on, but darn isn't he smug. He honestly seems to believe he is a much better human being than his brother and has some kind of cosmic right to have everything better than his older brother or other people with issues. difficult child and easy child do get along fine most of the time, but I sometimes think if it is only because difficult child shares easy child's high opinion of easy child and unfortunately also shares easy child's much lower opinion of himself. We did try to correct easy child, when he was younger, did something wrong, and came up with: "But at least I didn't do this or that, which difficult child did and why are you after me and not him", but when rest of the environment made it clear to him, that he was 'the good one' and difficult child 'the bad seed' I doubt we ever made much of an impression. And I do worry that now as an adult when he will not be (favourably) compared to his brother all the time any more, that attitude will cost him. And let's face it: That kind of behaviour is really unattractive in anyone. [/QUOTE]
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