I know this came up on another thread.....and got me to thinking..... My easy child is 3 years older than difficult child. She, unfortunately, got the short end of the stick a LOT because of difficult child and his many trials and tribulations. As I think back......I was so consumed - emotionally, financially with difficult child all the time, that things slip. easy child varied between feeling protective of me, and frustrated at what she perceived as my blase' attitude towards some of the things difficult child did without realizing I was simply TIRED. Now, I feel bad for those things I can't do anything about. I have, on several occassions, apologized to my daughter for the fact that there were times she bore the brunt of his anger because he always perceived that she got 'more' than him - nevermind that I never had the issues with her that I did with him and YES, she got a car, YES she got more privileges than he did...... easy child also had to take on some roles she probably shouldn't have had to- but because it was just the three of us, and I had to travel alot once easy child was out of high school- she stepped in sometimes when difficult child got in trouble at school....etc. Now, she's so GLAD that I've distanced myself from difficult child and as she has put it "gotten a backbone". I hate that for her. We lived in a war zone all his life.