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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664866" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Serenity I wanted to comment upon this because I did not attend to it before.</p><p></p><p>We have commented upon our common experience in our families:</p><p></p><p>We have felt singled out and targeted.</p><p>We have felt without protection.</p><p>We have also felt powerless to stop it.</p><p></p><p>With this one act by the Borderline (BPD) moderator to discipline your sister all of these feelings were neutralized and reversed.</p><p></p><p>You were no longer alone.</p><p>You had an ally.</p><p>Who stopped it.</p><p>You were protected.</p><p>Others stood with you so that the targeting would stop. And it did.</p><p></p><p>It is remarkable that this is all we needed. Somebody to stand with us.</p><p></p><p>To me this demonstrates that you never ever had a desire to hurt your sister. Like Cedar said above by revisiting the place you knew you would be hurt you were attempting to master and resolve your trauma.</p><p></p><p>I believe your feeling and thinking that you were doing something wrong or bad to your sister must have been taught to you, perhaps by your mother. To hold you responsible for things that were not your fault.</p><p></p><p>Stop hurting thing #1 or #2, SWOT. Stop being a bad girl.</p><p></p><p>And in that way you were scapegoated. And it may well be you internalized it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664866, member: 18958"] Serenity I wanted to comment upon this because I did not attend to it before. We have commented upon our common experience in our families: We have felt singled out and targeted. We have felt without protection. We have also felt powerless to stop it. With this one act by the Borderline (BPD) moderator to discipline your sister all of these feelings were neutralized and reversed. You were no longer alone. You had an ally. Who stopped it. You were protected. Others stood with you so that the targeting would stop. And it did. It is remarkable that this is all we needed. Somebody to stand with us. To me this demonstrates that you never ever had a desire to hurt your sister. Like Cedar said above by revisiting the place you knew you would be hurt you were attempting to master and resolve your trauma. I believe your feeling and thinking that you were doing something wrong or bad to your sister must have been taught to you, perhaps by your mother. To hold you responsible for things that were not your fault. Stop hurting thing #1 or #2, SWOT. Stop being a bad girl. And in that way you were scapegoated. And it may well be you internalized it. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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