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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665380" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>We were never our mothers, Copa. We loved our children from full hearts. Our mothers loved us with what was left. My mother was angry and spiteful regarding the last time they left me. She did whatever it is that she does and worked it all up into: "If Cedar does not want to be part of this family...."</p><p></p><p>And she did the same when my father was considering divorce.</p><p></p><p>I have never once felt that way, as angry or as flummoxed as I have ever been by the things my kids did or do. I want them. I want to see them and touch their beautiful faces and hear their voices on the phone. When son goes off in a huff, I keep contact on Facebook whether he answers or not. The last time? I posted that I had seen that he had seen my comment.</p><p></p><p>He was a little stung.</p><p></p><p>He did not know I would know he was looking.</p><p></p><p>So, we had to laugh about that one, then.</p><p></p><p>But I would never hate the way my mom did and does and neither would you, Copa.</p><p></p><p>We are not our mothers. </p><p></p><p>Our mothers had serious problems. Maybe they cannot help what they do, either. In time, we will address compassion for our families of origin. But until we are no longer afraid of them, or of ourselves because in some unlit corner of self we still believe in them, we will try really hard to see through our own eyes, and not theirs.</p><p></p><p>You love your child, Copa.</p><p></p><p>It shines through every word you post.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665380, member: 17461"] We were never our mothers, Copa. We loved our children from full hearts. Our mothers loved us with what was left. My mother was angry and spiteful regarding the last time they left me. She did whatever it is that she does and worked it all up into: "If Cedar does not want to be part of this family...." And she did the same when my father was considering divorce. I have never once felt that way, as angry or as flummoxed as I have ever been by the things my kids did or do. I want them. I want to see them and touch their beautiful faces and hear their voices on the phone. When son goes off in a huff, I keep contact on Facebook whether he answers or not. The last time? I posted that I had seen that he had seen my comment. He was a little stung. He did not know I would know he was looking. So, we had to laugh about that one, then. But I would never hate the way my mom did and does and neither would you, Copa. We are not our mothers. Our mothers had serious problems. Maybe they cannot help what they do, either. In time, we will address compassion for our families of origin. But until we are no longer afraid of them, or of ourselves because in some unlit corner of self we still believe in them, we will try really hard to see through our own eyes, and not theirs. You love your child, Copa. It shines through every word you post. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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