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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 665416" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is why, Copa, I think trying to expose ourselves, our hurts, and our vulnerabilities to a user/abuser is useless. It makes things worse.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, the only thing that has ever worked for me with these people, as my good intentions were always turned on me, is no contact. I actually started out being against no contact as being cowardly or giving up or turning one's back on a close relation. But with the last explosion with Sis, and her claiming SHE went no contact, no me (and who cares who did it?) I am finally able to see that when you can not sit down, talk about it, lay it on the table, and come to an agreement rather than a brawl, it is the only sensible solution. We can love people from afar that we never see, but the pain does get better with time. I have even recently let go of my mother. I will probably never forget what she did to form my ideas about myself, I just let the thoughts come and float away, as we are told to do in meditation. It no longer makes me angry.</p><p></p><p>I am g oing to be 62 in a few weeks. It is about time I decide I'm going to have a blast and times full of NO DRAMA in these golden years. Instead of being about my past hurts, I insist they be about my family, especially the grands, my job, my writing, my exercising, becoming a Peer Specialist and helping others (both people and animals).</p><p></p><p>I feel that is why I was put on earth this time, not to brood forever over my FOO. My father is 91. I could have a long time left and I don't want to waste it on people who have no care or had no care for me. In a very logical way, it is the right thing for me to do both for myself and those who do love me in the right way.</p><p></p><p>It is our own choice how we live our last, hard earned years. I am choosing living rather than brooding.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 665416, member: 1550"] This is why, Copa, I think trying to expose ourselves, our hurts, and our vulnerabilities to a user/abuser is useless. It makes things worse. Honestly, the only thing that has ever worked for me with these people, as my good intentions were always turned on me, is no contact. I actually started out being against no contact as being cowardly or giving up or turning one's back on a close relation. But with the last explosion with Sis, and her claiming SHE went no contact, no me (and who cares who did it?) I am finally able to see that when you can not sit down, talk about it, lay it on the table, and come to an agreement rather than a brawl, it is the only sensible solution. We can love people from afar that we never see, but the pain does get better with time. I have even recently let go of my mother. I will probably never forget what she did to form my ideas about myself, I just let the thoughts come and float away, as we are told to do in meditation. It no longer makes me angry. I am g oing to be 62 in a few weeks. It is about time I decide I'm going to have a blast and times full of NO DRAMA in these golden years. Instead of being about my past hurts, I insist they be about my family, especially the grands, my job, my writing, my exercising, becoming a Peer Specialist and helping others (both people and animals). I feel that is why I was put on earth this time, not to brood forever over my FOO. My father is 91. I could have a long time left and I don't want to waste it on people who have no care or had no care for me. In a very logical way, it is the right thing for me to do both for myself and those who do love me in the right way. It is our own choice how we live our last, hard earned years. I am choosing living rather than brooding. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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