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Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 665561" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>No, I am not bored, Serenity. In your story, I hear echoes of my own. I am fascinated, not bored. Just like it is with our troubled kids, when we first find the site and realize the kids, raised in so many different kinds of families, are engaging in the same kinds of behaviors. And finally, we can hear that it wasn't us; that we are not defective parents in some way we cannot get a grip on and address.</p><p></p><p>We can accept then that it could be a genetically mandated illness. Or that it could be drugs that are the heart of the problem and not that the kids turned to drugs because we had failed them somehow.</p><p></p><p>I am so gratefully, sincerely pleased with the way we share here, and heal here.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing your story with us, Serenity.</p><p></p><p>We are all coming through it, at last.</p><p></p><p>I had posted earlier about finally seeing the connection between that feeling of responsibility for the mother's feelings when we are little, and the feeling of global responsibility we take on as adults. </p><p></p><p>Could it be that when you think you have been less than, anywhere in your life (like when you post that we may have found your post boring), that this is the core of what was hurt into you as a little girl? </p><p></p><p>Does that thread, that self assessment, seem to run through the rest of your thinking about yourself, too?</p><p></p><p>Look what happened to me because of that kind of thinking I was doing about myself without even knowing it, because it is so familiar to me.</p><p></p><p>I am just blown away by the way that thinking has affected every aspect of my life.</p><p></p><p>That is the core of shame.</p><p></p><p>That is why we think that way.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Okay. So I am knowing everything again this morning.</p><p></p><p>But this is big.</p><p></p><p>It's like we haven't seen the forest for the trees.</p><p></p><p>Or like those Walt Disney tulip fields I was posting about yesterday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 665561, member: 17461"] No, I am not bored, Serenity. In your story, I hear echoes of my own. I am fascinated, not bored. Just like it is with our troubled kids, when we first find the site and realize the kids, raised in so many different kinds of families, are engaging in the same kinds of behaviors. And finally, we can hear that it wasn't us; that we are not defective parents in some way we cannot get a grip on and address. We can accept then that it could be a genetically mandated illness. Or that it could be drugs that are the heart of the problem and not that the kids turned to drugs because we had failed them somehow. I am so gratefully, sincerely pleased with the way we share here, and heal here. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Serenity. We are all coming through it, at last. I had posted earlier about finally seeing the connection between that feeling of responsibility for the mother's feelings when we are little, and the feeling of global responsibility we take on as adults. Could it be that when you think you have been less than, anywhere in your life (like when you post that we may have found your post boring), that this is the core of what was hurt into you as a little girl? Does that thread, that self assessment, seem to run through the rest of your thinking about yourself, too? Look what happened to me because of that kind of thinking I was doing about myself without even knowing it, because it is so familiar to me. I am just blown away by the way that thinking has affected every aspect of my life. That is the core of shame. That is why we think that way. Cedar Okay. So I am knowing everything again this morning. But this is big. It's like we haven't seen the forest for the trees. Or like those Walt Disney tulip fields I was posting about yesterday. [/QUOTE]
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In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
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