toughlovin
Well-Known Member
Hi Everyone,
I was getting so confused and missing what was going on with folks that I started following the timeline on my iPad and then posting some in the PE forum thinking the rest of you were more clear about this process than I was. Nancy asked me to come back and post what is going on here so I am doing that..... And I see that a lot of posts have been going on here and I have just been seeing them on the time line.
Anyway don't know where I last left off but my son went to rehab last July. Did well for 3 months... Relapsed and went back to detox.... Went to a couple of sober livings which were not great and got kicked out of those.... Finally ended up in another sober living then a friend visited from out of town and he relapsed again! This time he got himself into a residential program for a week on his own which was progress.....
And I must say I think the current IOP he has been going to and the sober living really have his best interested at heart and want to help him. So last week a different friend visited from back home and he relapsed again. He told us which was good.... But also played me some for money.
And I am just getting so sick of all of this. So Thursday night the current sober living told him he need to find himself another place to stay for a few nights while he figures things out. So he took the bus out to the beach and stayed on the beach. Then on Friday he called us trying to figure out what to do.... And basically we told him to figure it out. The IOP told him if he could get there Saturday they would give him something to eat and he could take a nap. So I did get him some money to get the bus back but he had to sleep on the street again.
I have a terrible cold and worrying about him is not helping me get the sleep I need!
So yesterday we talked to him and he told us that he had lost everything on the beach. His computer and bike had been stolen. At first I was just so bummed for him and kind of heartbroken for him. And then I thought well maybe this will be the lesson he needs to figure out that his doing it his way is just not working for him.
I think he does want to be sober but I am not sure he has been willing to do what it takes to stay sober.
So the sober living he has been in is associated with one program that he has not been crazy about but they basically had told him if he relapsed again he would have to go back and do their partial hospitalization program. So yesterday he did decide to do that.
A person from the program called me last night and said they were picking him up and admitting him there. And she basically said we shall see where he is in 3 days... He needs to let go of his ego and just surrender to doing it our way.
I think she is right. At this point he needs to make getting and staying sober his number one priority... It comes before everything else.
The good news is there are people out there who care about him who do really want to help him.... Now he just has to let them.
So at least for now I can sleep cause I know he is safe. We are going on vacation in a week with our daughter and hopefully he will still be there so we can just relax and enjoy ourselves.
Nancy asked how I stay so calm during all these relapses. Well I don't always but I sure have had a lot of practice! What really keeps me calm is the serenity prayer and the knowledge that there is not much I can do. It really is his journey.
I was getting so confused and missing what was going on with folks that I started following the timeline on my iPad and then posting some in the PE forum thinking the rest of you were more clear about this process than I was. Nancy asked me to come back and post what is going on here so I am doing that..... And I see that a lot of posts have been going on here and I have just been seeing them on the time line.
Anyway don't know where I last left off but my son went to rehab last July. Did well for 3 months... Relapsed and went back to detox.... Went to a couple of sober livings which were not great and got kicked out of those.... Finally ended up in another sober living then a friend visited from out of town and he relapsed again! This time he got himself into a residential program for a week on his own which was progress.....
And I must say I think the current IOP he has been going to and the sober living really have his best interested at heart and want to help him. So last week a different friend visited from back home and he relapsed again. He told us which was good.... But also played me some for money.
And I am just getting so sick of all of this. So Thursday night the current sober living told him he need to find himself another place to stay for a few nights while he figures things out. So he took the bus out to the beach and stayed on the beach. Then on Friday he called us trying to figure out what to do.... And basically we told him to figure it out. The IOP told him if he could get there Saturday they would give him something to eat and he could take a nap. So I did get him some money to get the bus back but he had to sleep on the street again.
I have a terrible cold and worrying about him is not helping me get the sleep I need!
So yesterday we talked to him and he told us that he had lost everything on the beach. His computer and bike had been stolen. At first I was just so bummed for him and kind of heartbroken for him. And then I thought well maybe this will be the lesson he needs to figure out that his doing it his way is just not working for him.
I think he does want to be sober but I am not sure he has been willing to do what it takes to stay sober.
So the sober living he has been in is associated with one program that he has not been crazy about but they basically had told him if he relapsed again he would have to go back and do their partial hospitalization program. So yesterday he did decide to do that.
A person from the program called me last night and said they were picking him up and admitting him there. And she basically said we shall see where he is in 3 days... He needs to let go of his ego and just surrender to doing it our way.
I think she is right. At this point he needs to make getting and staying sober his number one priority... It comes before everything else.
The good news is there are people out there who care about him who do really want to help him.... Now he just has to let them.
So at least for now I can sleep cause I know he is safe. We are going on vacation in a week with our daughter and hopefully he will still be there so we can just relax and enjoy ourselves.
Nancy asked how I stay so calm during all these relapses. Well I don't always but I sure have had a lot of practice! What really keeps me calm is the serenity prayer and the knowledge that there is not much I can do. It really is his journey.