Hi everyone,
It's been a while and the battle continues with my son BUT, he's living on his own (well couch surfing) and seems to be getting some things in order.
Since I've been here, I've remarried to the best man I could find. Our home is soooo tranquil and lord knows we difficult child moms soooo appreciate that like heaven! Almost too good to be true but, we deserve it!! Right?
Not so fast!!
Hubby has a difficult child too and the princess wants to move in with us!!
OMG, my nerves are shot over this. He's not lived with them since the separation (she was 7), so he like single moms and being ruled by guilt. He really wants to give this a go. He thinks that we can "help her" get straightened out with patience, counselling and whatever it takes. Could be My sanity! Her mom says she lies constantly, she's been in jail, she's had two abortions, she's combative, she threatens suicide when she isn't winning, she's already told people that when she moves here, her dad will hire her at a rate much higher than he pays his skilled workers and is already shopping on sites for a truck for when she lives here. She is not welcome at her moms place because she caused so many problems between her and her partner. She's already referred to me as a S..t! And still hasn't apologized. Her dad told her she'd need to say a "little" apology(which in my mind really undermines the seriousness of her words.
Given all this..
I WAS reluctantly okay with it (I LOVE her dad) but felt that I needed to let her know just where I stood. So I texted her (what I think) was a frank (which we know that with difficult children we can't pussy foot around, if we're not clear they turn things around to suit themselves) but sincere message. Here is the message..(hope this works)
"I want you to know a few things before you move here. I'm not going to sugar coat anything and I won't treat you like a fragile little girl.
We are taking you in to help you get your life straightened out. You can rest and relax for a bit but after that we expect you to give this 100%. It's not a vacation, it's not a way to run from your problems. You'll need to work on a plan for work or school but you will need to commit to something.
If counselling is what you need, we'll both make sure you get it.
We will not tolerate drama, tantrums, name calling, drinking in excess or drugs.
We have a VERY peaceful household here and if you give it an honest effort you'll enjoy it.
I'm not saying this to scare you off or make you feel threatened, I'm saying it because I think it only fair that you know exactly what is expected of you."
I sent this early in the morning. I waited for a response...nothing. So I asked her dad if he heard anything and by the way, I didn't tell him I was sending it and did that purposely to test her reaction. So he asked her. She said yes she received it but was visiting a friend. She did however have time to respond to him.
She STILL hasn't responded and I'm just pissed!
I'm so acutely aware of how these kids operate that I feel really scarred and scared to jump on that roller coaster again!
Wendy
Frustrated but hopeful
