Welcome, Bonia.
I am so sorry you lost your SO recently. That is so hard. You are so young.
I'm glad that the comments so far have been helpful.
I would also suggest reading Doug Riley's books, The Defiant Child, and What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell you.
http://www.drdouglasriley.com/bookstore.php
Your son has used some really scary tactics to get his sibling to be quiet. Never leave them alone!
Best of luck!
