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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 350777" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, one good thing.......she's talking to me normally again. No chance so far to have any sort of heart to heart talk.......But it's progress.</p><p></p><p>Starbie, I lived for about 6 months or so in a domestic violence shelter and trust me when I say I went to so many meetings and group therapy sessions I could practically run one myself. Had nothing to do with husband or domestic violence.....I was hiding for a different reason but had to follow the same rules as every other client. I learned more in those 6 months than I could've gained in a lifetime. I know only too well what I'm dealing with as far as bff's husband and Nichole views on it. There are moments when I wish I was a bit more ignorant......it's making sleeping at night nearly impossible.</p><p></p><p>Tuesday morning I won't be having class...........I'm hoping I can coax her over here for a bit to talk. Might be easier than I thought because she had to ask today if she could come over and use my computer for her online classes. Evidently the internet at bff's house stinks. (thanks God for small favors)</p><p></p><p>I'd do the pamphlets again but I know they won't work. Nichole has had them shown to her so many times it isn't funny, both by me and by her psychiatrist. Talking seems to sink in better. I certainly hope so this time.</p><p></p><p>This is going to come out sounding awful but honestly........Nichole is lazy. Bff's husband is going to expect her to clean up after herself (he's a neat freak) and the house, he's got her taking the boys to school (they should be riding the bus) and doing his errands. Lord only knows what else because bff's husband is also lazy and would much rather put the work onto someone else than take care of it himself. At some point she's going to rebel. How do I know? Because even I nor ex boyfriend could get her to clean and such. The most she'd do is pay the bills and get groceries. If he dares attempt to dicipline Aubrey the **it will hit the fan so fast he won't have a clue as to what happened. Same reasons, Nichole goes full blown Momma Bear when anyone other than herself or ex boyfriend dicipline Aubrey.....I've gone nose to nose with her a time or two myself. It ain't pretty. So I'm hopeful she'll have something to snap her out of it in the near future. It's only been about 2 weeks.....just about time for the honeymoon period of any new situation to wain. And unlike ex boyfriend.......she doesn't love this guy. So once she's POed there would be little to stop her from walking out the door. (all of her stuff is here except her clothes)</p><p></p><p>And she had a friend my age from work (a Mom who naturally mothers her because she also has grown kids) come to visit and spend time with her today. So hopefully she's talking to someone about this even if it's not me just yet. </p><p></p><p>I'm trying to work as fast as time will allow without pushing too hard. Not going to be easy when I'm in school 4 days a week. But the longer she stays in that house the more control he is likely to have so I can't just sit back and wait.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 350777, member: 84"] Well, one good thing.......she's talking to me normally again. No chance so far to have any sort of heart to heart talk.......But it's progress. Starbie, I lived for about 6 months or so in a domestic violence shelter and trust me when I say I went to so many meetings and group therapy sessions I could practically run one myself. Had nothing to do with husband or domestic violence.....I was hiding for a different reason but had to follow the same rules as every other client. I learned more in those 6 months than I could've gained in a lifetime. I know only too well what I'm dealing with as far as bff's husband and Nichole views on it. There are moments when I wish I was a bit more ignorant......it's making sleeping at night nearly impossible. Tuesday morning I won't be having class...........I'm hoping I can coax her over here for a bit to talk. Might be easier than I thought because she had to ask today if she could come over and use my computer for her online classes. Evidently the internet at bff's house stinks. (thanks God for small favors) I'd do the pamphlets again but I know they won't work. Nichole has had them shown to her so many times it isn't funny, both by me and by her psychiatrist. Talking seems to sink in better. I certainly hope so this time. This is going to come out sounding awful but honestly........Nichole is lazy. Bff's husband is going to expect her to clean up after herself (he's a neat freak) and the house, he's got her taking the boys to school (they should be riding the bus) and doing his errands. Lord only knows what else because bff's husband is also lazy and would much rather put the work onto someone else than take care of it himself. At some point she's going to rebel. How do I know? Because even I nor ex boyfriend could get her to clean and such. The most she'd do is pay the bills and get groceries. If he dares attempt to dicipline Aubrey the **it will hit the fan so fast he won't have a clue as to what happened. Same reasons, Nichole goes full blown Momma Bear when anyone other than herself or ex boyfriend dicipline Aubrey.....I've gone nose to nose with her a time or two myself. It ain't pretty. So I'm hopeful she'll have something to snap her out of it in the near future. It's only been about 2 weeks.....just about time for the honeymoon period of any new situation to wain. And unlike ex boyfriend.......she doesn't love this guy. So once she's POed there would be little to stop her from walking out the door. (all of her stuff is here except her clothes) And she had a friend my age from work (a Mom who naturally mothers her because she also has grown kids) come to visit and spend time with her today. So hopefully she's talking to someone about this even if it's not me just yet. I'm trying to work as fast as time will allow without pushing too hard. Not going to be easy when I'm in school 4 days a week. But the longer she stays in that house the more control he is likely to have so I can't just sit back and wait. [/QUOTE]
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